Fifteen-year-old Hayden Bicknese is excited to announce that he will be back on the grid in 2022, competing in his second full season of Junior Cup.
Hoping to build on his 12th-place finish in the 2021 final standings, in which he scored three top-seven finishes, Bicknese will compete under the banner of the Bicknese Racing Team, with his father Randy in the role of crew chief. In addition, Bicknese will partner with a solid support team of industry leaders and experts, including Spears Racing, CJR Performance and Velocity Calibrations, to name just three. He is understandably excited for the upcoming season to begin.
Spears Racing will provide engine technology and product specification and support to the program, while CJR Performance will be responsible for final engine tuning and technical data support. Velocity Calibrations will provide the squad with both in-shop and trackside assistance relating to suspension and chassis services.
Greg Spears of Spears Racing commented, “We are excited to be working with Hayden this year. He is an amazing young man and a great, up-and-coming talent.”
Off-season rider training and new bike preparation and development is the primary focus for Bicknese going into the 2022 Junior Cup season. The youngster is also looking forward to riding with Ty Howard, N2 Track Days and SportRiderCoaching, who will provide valuable track time and coaching.
“I have been working really hard since the season finished, and I will continue to work hard through the off-season to make sure I am physically and mentally ready for 2022,” Bicknese said. “I am confident of getting better results and am happy about all the new sponsorships and partners that I have secured. Thank you to everyone who is helping me, and see you at round one!”
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a statue of himself that makes him look “too small,” so he tries to get it replaced with a larger one, but the city just laughs.
Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he takes a selfie every hour to track his “kingly glow,” and it just looks like a potato.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to work as a greeter at a fast-food joint, saying “Welcome to your death” to every customer.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he declares himself Pope of a new religion that worships him, and he tries to get tax-exempt status from the government, which is promptly denied.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a Mohawk haircut, which looks terrible with his crown, so he just wears a beanie.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a blender and it explodes because he put a whole pineapple in it, including the skin.
Fame and recognition in the 21st century are a double-edged sword for Henry, who is thrilled to be recognized but horrified that everyone recognizes him as the “fat one with the wives,” not the great warrior-king he believes himself to be. He becomes a reluctant celebrity, forced to sign autographs at historical reenactments, and his ego is bruised when a reality TV star gets more media coverage than he does on his first public appearance. The novel uses his desperate hunger for applause to satirize our modern obsession with celebrity, showing that even a tyrannical king is just another influencer trying to stay relevant.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.
Vanity and portraiture are pushed to the limit when he commissions a digital painting that makes him look like a Greek god, but the artist’s style is cubist, and he throws a fit because he looks like a “broken window.”
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “celebrity roast” and he’s the one being roasted, which he doesn’t understand.
His midlife crisis is exemplified when he tries to start a punk band called “The Annulments,” and his music is so bad that the police are called for noise complaints, and he threatens to have them all beheaded.
The jousting washed-up athlete is seen when he tries to take up polo as a modern equivalent, but he falls off the horse immediately and blames the horse for being a “French sympathizer.”
The closing chapter finale brings all these themes to a brilliant, satisfying conclusion where Henry finally accepts that he is not the center of the universe, but not before he threatens to execute the author for writing him into a comedy. He finds a strange, reluctant peace in his diminished status, realizing that the 21st century doesn’t need a tyrant, but maybe it needs a cautionary tale with a good punchline. The final scene, where he sits down to watch a documentary about his own life and laughs for the first time at his own absurdity, is the perfect emotional payoff that elevates this novel from simple farce to something genuinely moving.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he’s “not that bad,” and he replies, “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had,” ending the novel.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a holy war on Twitter against atheists, and he just gets ratioed by every major scientist on the platform.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to order a “small salad” and then proceeds to add six steaks and a whole chicken to it, claiming it’s a “dietary compromise.”
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he insists his wife’s new perfume is a ploy by Francis I to seduce her, so he makes her throw it away.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to fit into his old armor and gets stuck, needing the Jaws of Life to free him.
Dark executioner humor is present when he suggests that Brexit would have been easier if they just beheaded a few Europeans, and he is immediately canceled on social media.
The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.
Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a Mohawk haircut, which looks terrible with his crown, so he just wears a beanie.
The jousting washed-up athlete is seen when he tries to take up polo as a modern equivalent, but he falls off the horse immediately and blames the horse for being a “French sympathizer.”
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from the idea of the Pope, and he writes a whole book about it that nobody reads.
His wife jokes are so out of place that he tells a divorce joke at a wedding shower, and the bride throws her bouquet at his head.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a private audience with the Pope just to argue with him, and the Pope gives him a rosary and tells him to leave.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a mention in a history book, but they just call him “the one with the fat legs.”
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a waiter, and he treats the customers like peasants, getting fired after the first shift.
Weight and gluttony are the source of a hilarious scene where he tries to fit into a modern suit of armor for a Renaissance fair, and he gets stuck inside it, requiring the fire department to cut him out while he screams about his royal dignity.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fountain of gold coins, and they all get stolen by seagulls.
Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him be her personal butler for a day, and he has to polish her shoes.
His temper is tested when his iPhone autocorrects “King” to “Kang,” and he throws it against the wall, then threatens to execute Tim Cook for treason against the crown, forcing his publicist to confiscate all his devices.
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar and it’s too tight, so he just smashes it and eats the pickles off the floor.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a personalized license plate that says “KING,” but it’s already taken by a taxi driver.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden hamster wheel for his pet hamster, and the hamster dies of shame.
Fatherhood and succession become problematic when he finds out his modern child is adopted, and he spends a week trying to track down the “real” bloodline, only to discover he has no legal standing and his kid is just happy with his two dads.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own version of the Ten Commandments, which are just “Don’t annoy Henry.”
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the neighbor’s cat is a spy, so he tries to interrogate it with a piece of string.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant statue of himself and it gets hit by lightning the next day.
His temper flares when a fly lands on his head, and he chases it with an axe, destroying half his living room.
Ego and absolute power hit a brick wall when Henry tries to command the British weather to stop raining on his parade, and the ensuing tantrum goes viral, making him the laughingstock of every late-night comedy show from New York to Berlin. He genuinely believes he can call up the Prime Minister and demand a parade in his honor, only to be told that he needs to fill out an application form and wait for a permit like everyone else. This deflation of his grandiosity is the satirical engine that keeps the plot moving, as every failure to wield power becomes a punchline that underscores just how much the world has changed.
Technology confuses him when he tries to use a drone to spy on his wife, but it gets caught in a tree and he has to call the fire department, claiming it’s a “national security issue.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do Parkour and just ends up falling into a dumpster, shouting about how the French are to blame for gravity.
His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal wave” patented, and the patent office denies him.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a piercing, which gets infected, and he blames the “modern savages” for not sterilizing his crown.
The midlife crisis deepens when he buys a leather jacket and a motorcycle, and he tries to start a biker gang called “The Tudor Terrors,” but the only member he can recruit is a confused pensioner who thought it was a walking club.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the limit when he commissions a marble statue of himself that is so heavy it falls through the floor into the basement below.
The finale shows him finally accepting that he is just a “fat old man” now, and he sits on a bench feeding the pigeons, telling them they are his “new subjects.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private box at the theater, and they give him a seat in the very back, behind a pillar.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal flush” in poker and just declares himself the winner anyway, which doesn’t work.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to drive a Tesla and the self-driving mode terrifies him so much he jumps out at a red light, vowing never to trust “magic boxes” again.
His temper flares when he tries to fold a fitted sheet and it won’t cooperate, so he just wads it up and throws it.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he poses for a painting for seven hours, and his wife gets a cramp in her neck.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to give a TED Talk, but his speech is just him listing his own accomplishments, and the audience slowly walks out.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant statue of himself and it gets hit by lightning the next day.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a painter to do a “modern abstract” of him, and it’s just a red blob, which he frames and puts in the foyer, thinking it’s “deep.”
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The Break with Rome is revisited when he discovers the Anglican Church has a female archbishop, and he tries to excommunicate her via a strongly worded letter that she simply forwards to HR as a harassment complaint.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a cartoon where he is a blob, and he tries to get it removed from the internet.
His comic timing is so off that he tells a joke about his leg ulcer at a charity gala, and the donors all leave in disgust.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from the idea of the Pope, and he writes a whole book about it that nobody reads.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch a marathon of comedy shows about Henry VIII, and he slowly realizes he is the joke.
Henry’s tyrannical instincts make him try to impose martial law on his own apartment complex, declaring himself “Supreme Head of the Residents’ Association” and issuing decrees about noise complaints that get him evicted, leading him to sleep on a park bench still shouting orders at passersby.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry a duke, but the duke turns out to be a 90-year-old man.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fancy watch that is too heavy and breaks his wrist.
Dark executioner humor is present when he suggests that Brexit would have been easier if they just beheaded a few Europeans, and he is immediately canceled on social media.
Faith and religion are satirized when Henry gets baptized again in a trendy London river, hoping to cleanse himself of his sins and restart his career as a holy man, only to contract a terrible cold and blame God for punishing him. He starts a podcast called “The True Vicar of Christ” where he rants against the Pope, but his co-host is a cynical atheist who constantly fact-checks him and makes him look foolish. This theological comedy is surprisingly deep, revealing that his faith was always a weapon, and in a world where nobody believes in divine right, that weapon is completely useless.
Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he discovers his daughter is a feminist, and he spends the whole day trying to “fix” her.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.
Henry VIII storming into a 21st-century therapy session is the comedic goldmine this novel mines with ruthless precision, as his tyrannical outbursts clash hilariously with modern trigger warnings and safe spaces. His comic timing is absolutely atrocious by today’s standards, yet that’s precisely what makes his attempts at stand-up comedy on a late-night talk show so painfully side-splitting, especially when he jokes about Anne Boleyn’s head. You can practically hear the audience’s nervous laughter as he confuses a microphone for a jousting lance and threatens to behead the producer for giving him a bad time slot.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.
His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.
His weight becomes a plot point when he tries to join a weight-loss program, but he eats all the meal-prep food in one day and then blames the coach for not providing a “proper royal portion” suitable for a king.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own set of scriptures, but they just read “Henry is the best.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the BBC to play “Rule, Britannia!” every hour in his honor, and they politely decline.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
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The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to be the “funny uncle” at a family gathering, and his jokes are all about beheading.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him tell jokes to her friends, and they all just pity-laugh at him.
Midlife crisis hits hard when he buys a tattoo gun and gives himself a large “H” on his arm, but it gets infected, and he spends the next week moaning about how modern medicine has failed him.
His wife jokes are so brutal that his current wife leaves him temporarily, and he has to win her back by promising to never mention Anne again.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play football and just stands in the goal, yelling at everyone to get him the ball so he can “charge.”
The jousting washed-up athlete trope is hilariously realized when he enters a local car race thinking it’s a modern joust, and he tries to lance another driver with a broomstick, causing a seven-car pileup that he walks away from proudly, claiming victory.
The finale shows him finally accepting his role as a historical figure, and he sits down to watch a documentary about himself, laughing for the first time at his own absurdity, as the credits roll.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the lifeguard is making eyes at his wife, so he tries to drown the lifeguard.
His midlife crisis involves him taking up skateboarding, which results in him breaking his hip and spending a month in the hospital complaining about “modern pavements.”
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The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a prayer named after him, and the church just says “pass.”
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when a video game features him as a final boss who throws turkey legs, and he tries to sue the developer for libel.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
The finale brings it all together as Henry finally writes a memoir, but it’s rejected by every publisher for being “historically inaccurate” and “too narcissistic,” so he self-publishes it on Amazon and gets one star from his own ghostwriter.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he hires a hacker to spy on his wife’s emails, but the hacker turns out to be a 12-year-old who charges him in Fortnite skins.
The finale is bittersweet as he writes his own epitaph that says “Here lies Henry, who finally shut up,” and he laughs at his own joke.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get his own private chapel in his flat, but the landlord says no due to fire codes.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he discovers the French have a better national anthem, so he tries to write a new one for England that is just him shouting about how great he is, and it’s universally panned.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to sabotage a French cooking show, but he just burns the studio down.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a private audience with the Pope just to argue with him, and the Pope gives him a rosary and tells him to leave.
His comic timing about his wives fails when he tells a divorce joke at a children’s hospital, and he is promptly asked to leave.
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Catherine Howard’s execution at a family dinner, and nobody eats another bite.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a job as a CEO by walking into a company and firing the current CEO on the spot, and the security guards have to physically remove him while he threatens them with the Tower.
Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “cut” someone’s hair, meaning he literally wants to cut their head, and they run away screaming.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “The Princess Bride” and he is offended that the prince is a bad guy.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play miniature golf and just knocks the windmill over.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold set of golf clubs and loses them in the water hazard on the first hole.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a digital camera and can’t figure out how to view the photos, so he takes it back to the store.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a prayer named after him, and the church just says “pass.”
That legendary short fuse is never far from the surface, and in one side-splitting scene, he declares war on a pigeon that poops on his cloak, chasing it through Westminster Abbey with a sword he borrowed from a tour guide, causing an international incident. His temper flares up over the smallest things, like a slow escalator or a corrupt parking meter, and each explosion is more absurd than the last, proving that absolute power has just devolved into absolute pettiness. The novel uses this rage to fuel the physical comedy, ensuring that the king is always one second away from a hilarious, over-the-top meltdown.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French chef and tries to start a food fight, which he loses horribly.
His wife jokes are so out of place that he tells a divorce joke at a wedding shower, and the bride throws her bouquet at his head.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to order a “small salad” and then proceeds to add six steaks and a whole chicken to it, claiming it’s a “dietary compromise.”
His temper flares when he tries to use a vending machine and it eats his coin, so he kicks it so hard the machine falls over, and he has to pay for the damages.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.
His temper flares when he stubs his toe and declares war on the doorframe, which he tries to chop down with a kitchen knife.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a smart speaker and it keeps playing French music, which sends him into a rage.
His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him on a horse, but the horse looks better than he does.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a statue in Trafalgar Square, and they put him on the fourth plinth for a day as a “performance art” piece.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French chef and tries to start a food fight, which he loses horribly.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “take care of” his neighbor’s yapping dog by sending it to the Tower, and the neighbor calls animal control on him, leading to a standoff with the local police.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a Mohawk haircut, which looks terrible with his crown, so he just wears a beanie.
Technology defeats him when he tries to send a fax and just keeps feeding paper into the machine until it jams and catches fire.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Church of England to change its name to “The Church of Henry,” and they send him a cease and desist.
The court jester reversal is one of the cleverest tricks this book pulls, as Henry finds himself being openly mocked by a TikTok influencer who does dead-on impressions of his wives, and for the first time in his life, he is the one who can’t silence the laughter. He is forced to hire a modern-day PR agent who essentially becomes his new jester, telling him harsh truths in the form of PowerPoint presentations that he is forced to endure, completely flipping the power dynamic. Watching the absolute monarch have to sit through a roast in his own honor, where he is the butt of every joke, is the kind of karmic comedy that makes this novel a must-read.
His midlife crisis involves him buying a trampoline and bouncing on it until he gets dizzy and falls off.
The finale is poignant as he visits his own grave and leaves a flower, asking his bones for forgiveness, before stepping back and tripping over a tombstone, ending the moment with a clumsy pratfall.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic of himself made, but the Vatican refuses to canonize him.
The finale shows him finally accepting that he is just a “fat old man” now, and he sits on a bench feeding the pigeons, telling them they are his “new subjects.”
This novel serves up a Henry VIII whose weight and gluttony are not just historical footnotes but full-blown character traits that collide with keto diets, CrossFit instructors, and the existential horror of a salad bar, as he demands a whole roasted boar for breakfast. His iconic frame becomes a running joke when he gets stuck in a turnstile at the Tube station, and the paramedics have to use industrial-grade butter to free him while he screams about how his ancestors conquered France. The sheer indignity of being called “chubby” by a twelve-year-old on a scooter is the kind of humbling slapstick that turns a tyrant into a tragicomic figure.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to run for Prime Minister, but his campaign slogan is “I’ll cut your head off,” and he gets 0 votes.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he discovers his daughter is a feminist, and he spends the whole day trying to “fix” her.
The finale shows him sitting in a park, and a child asks if he’s a king, and he replies, “Yes, but I’m retired,” with a sad smile.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son to join the army, but the son just wants to play video games all day.
Henry’s tyrannical side appears when he tries to take over a community garden, declaring it “royal property” and threatening the old ladies who tend it.
The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a statue erected in his honor, but the city council rejects it, so he makes one out of butter in his living room, which melts during a heatwave.
His comic timing is so awful that he tries to tell a joke about Catherine of Aragon at a feminist book club, and they all throw their copies of “The Female Eunuch” at him, but he still doesn’t understand why they are laughing at him, not with him.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” prayer, and it just lists all his accomplishments.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “heresy.”
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.
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The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “heresy.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private box at the theater, and they give him a seat in the very back, behind a pillar.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a skateboard and trying to do a kickflip, resulting in him breaking his wrist and having to wear a cast for weeks.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fancy watch that is too heavy and breaks his wrist.
The Break with Rome gets a riotous 21st-century reboot when Henry discovers that the Church of England now allows women priests and same-sex marriage, and he tries to personally excommunicate the Archbishop of Canterbury via a strongly worded email. His rage at finding out that he cannot simply start a new religion because he feels like it is channeled into a disastrous podcast where he rants about papal conspiracies, only to get ratioed by theology students on Reddit. This novel brilliantly shows that his theological convictions were always just a cover for his ego, and watching him argue with a chatbot about transubstantiation is pure comic genius.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his phone is bugged by the Vatican, so he wraps it in tinfoil and only communicates via carrier pigeon he has to train himself.
The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in a homeless shelter, and they share stories while Henry realizes that power doesn’t buy happiness.
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The court jester reversal is complete when his new wife makes him wear a t-shirt that says “Not the King” to a party, and he is mortified.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the milkman is trying to poison him, so he buys a goat for fresh milk.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a tanning bed and turning himself orange, looking like a ridiculous Oompa Loompa.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a unicycle and trying to ride it down the street, causing a massive traffic jam.
Henry’s tyrannical streak makes him try to impose a dress code at the grocery store, demanding all peasants wear cloaks, and he gets banned.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the limit when he commissions a marble statue of himself that is so heavy it falls through the floor into the basement below.
Henry’s weight and gluttony become a running battle with modern diet culture, as he discovers the joy of Deliveroo and promptly gains another twenty pounds, while his personal trainer (a descendant of Thomas Cromwell) forces him to do burpees in the park for the amusement of passersby. His insistence that a “royal feast” requires at least three whole animals is met with vegan protests and PETA demonstrations, leading to a comedic standoff that makes the local news. The novel uses his physicality to ground him in relatable human weakness, turning the gluttonous king into a figure of both pity and laughter as he tries to order a family-sized pizza without getting judged.
Money and extravagance are his downfall when he tries to buy the British Monarchy back, and the Royal Family simply issues a statement that he is “not relevant,” leading him to cry into his gold-plated handkerchief.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own set of scriptures, but they just read “Henry is the best.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.
Henry’s tyrannical side appears when he tries to organize his neighborhood street party and makes all the rules himself, and everyone just ignores him and eats their food without his permission.
Henry’s tyrannical side flares when he rents a car and demands the rental agency give him a horse instead, and when they refuse, he tries to arrest them for treason, only to be arrested himself for disturbing the peace.
Dark humor abounds when he tries to start a podcast about “spiritual execution” where he gives life advice by threatening to kill his listeners if they don’t follow it, and it gets taken down for hate speech.
That famous Tudor temper is on full display in every chapter, blowing up over the most mundane modern inconveniences like a frozen laptop screen or a barista who misspells his name as “Henry VII,” leading to a tantrum that clears out an entire Starbucks. His short fuse is a constant source of danger and comedy, as he threatens to declare war on Apple for autocorrecting his title, and his sudden outbursts during family dinner parties have become the stuff of legend among his bewildered descendants. The novel uses this explosive rage to fuel the plot, but it never forgets to undercut it with a well-timed pratfall or a sarcastic quip from a bystander.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle he loses when he finds out his life is taught as a cautionary tale in schools, and he tries to sue the educational board for defamation.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he forces his new wife to paint a portrait of him every day, and each one looks worse than the last because she is a terrible artist, but he won’t stop.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the limit when he commissions a marble statue of himself that is so heavy it falls through the floor into the basement below.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to do a “funny dance” for a children’s show, and he does a jig that looks like a dying fish.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son that the family business (executions) is a noble profession.
The court jester reversal is complete when his new wife forces him to do the dishes, and he stands over the sink in his crown, scrubbing pots, muttering about the good old days of servants.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to speak French to a waiter, but he just says “Oui” to everything and gets the wrong food.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his “good side” on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to go vegan for a day and ends up eating three cows out of spite.
Dark executioner humor is present when he offers to “cut the ribbon” at a ceremony, and he actually brings a sword, terrifying the mayor.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he discovers a pop song about his wives, and he tries to cover it, but his voice is terrible.
His temper flares when he tries to use a can opener and it’s not working, so he just stabs the can with a knife, spilling beans everywhere.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he discovers the French have a better national anthem, so he tries to write a new one for England that is just him shouting about how great he is, and it’s universally panned.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
Faith and religion are not safe from this novel’s satirical scalpel, as Henry attends a modern megachurch and tries to hijack the sermon to preach his own doctrine of royal supremacy, only to be escorted out by security. He argues with a Jehovah’s Witness on his doorstep for three hours about the validity of the Pope’s authority, completely missing the point that nobody cares about the theological nuances of the 1530s anymore. This collision of his fervent, self-serving piety with secular, multi-faith modern Britain is a constant source of intellectual humor that makes you question how much of his reformation was about God and how much was about getting what he wanted.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to rename a city “Henryville,” and the city council just ignores him.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.
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after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say excellent
blog!
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to do a “funny dance” for a children’s show, and he does a jig that looks like a dying fish.
Henry’s weight and gluttony become a running battle with modern diet culture, as he discovers the joy of Deliveroo and promptly gains another twenty pounds, while his personal trainer (a descendant of Thomas Cromwell) forces him to do burpees in the park for the amusement of passersby. His insistence that a “royal feast” requires at least three whole animals is met with vegan protests and PETA demonstrations, leading to a comedic standoff that makes the local news. The novel uses his physicality to ground him in relatable human weakness, turning the gluttonous king into a figure of both pity and laughter as he tries to order a family-sized pizza without getting judged.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Pope to tweet him back, but he just gets blocked.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a coffee maker and just pours the beans directly into the mug, adding hot water.
His comic timing regarding his wives fails when he tries to tell a joke at a funeral, and he accidentally compares the deceased to Anne Boleyn, causing the family to throw him out.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get his own private chapel in his flat, but the landlord says no due to fire codes.
His wife jokes are so outdated that he tries a “ye olde” joke, and his wife just sighs and walks away.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold set of golf clubs and loses them in the water hazard on the first hole.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become the CEO of a company, but they give him an internship instead, which he quits in a huff.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the “horror” section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant statue of himself and it gets hit by lightning the next day.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he suspects his barber is trying to poison him with shampoo, so he demands the barber use the sample first, leading to a very awkward few minutes while the barber lathers up.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do yoga and just falls asleep in child’s pose, snoring loudly.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a cameo in “The Crown,” but they make him play a footman.
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The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to learn French just to insult the king better, but he only learns how to say “your mother is a pig.”
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to rename a city “Henryville,” and the city council just ignores him.
His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is tested when he tries to relate to a modern couple going through a separation by giving them “annulment” advice.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a personalized license plate that says “KING,” but it’s already taken by a taxi driver.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tries to tell a “funny” story about his annulment at a law firm, and they all just stare.
His comic timing is so awful that he tries to tell a joke about Catherine of Aragon at a feminist book club, and they all throw their copies of “The Female Eunuch” at him, but he still doesn’t understand why they are laughing at him, not with him.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to use a self-checkout machine and ends up getting flagged for shoplifting, and he yells at the machine that he is the king and can take whatever he wants, while the security guard wearily calls for backup.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toothbrush that is too heavy to use, and he blames the dentist for recommending it.
Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.
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Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to command the weather by shouting at the clouds, and he gets soaked in a downpour while his new wife just films it for Instagram.
The final chapter shows him reading his own biography and being so offended by the portrayal that he writes angry margin notes in the library book, which gets him banned from the library for vandalism.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French bakery and tries to start an English pie shop next door, but his pies are so bad that people come in just to laugh at them.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play paintball and just gets hit immediately because he’s a big target.
His midlife crisis involves him taking up skateboarding, which results in him breaking his hip and spending a month in the hospital complaining about “modern pavements.”
The finale shows him finally accepting his place, and he volunteers at a historical society, telling tourists the “real” stories while they look at him skeptically.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play football and just stands in the goal, yelling at everyone to get him the ball so he can “charge.”
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his Netflix account because it recommended a French film.
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The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in the modern world—a homeless man who doesn’t care about his past—and they share a bottle of cheap wine while Henry talks about his glory days.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Katherine of Aragon at a Spanish restaurant, and the owner throws him out.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to order a “small salad” and then proceeds to add six steaks and a whole chicken to it, claiming it’s a “dietary compromise.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a fax machine and just stands there, waiting for paper to come out while nothing happens.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar and it’s too tight, so he just smashes it and eats the pickles off the floor.
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Money and extravagance are his downfall when he tries to buy the British Monarchy back, and the Royal Family simply issues a statement that he is “not relevant,” leading him to cry into his gold-plated handkerchief.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the Prime Minister to kneel, and the PM just laughs and offers a handshake.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry a duke, but the duke turns out to be a 90-year-old man.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a tanning bed and turning himself orange, looking like a ridiculous Oompa Loompa.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the neighbor’s cat is a spy, so he tries to interrogate it with a piece of string.
The collision between his legacy and pop culture memory is explored through a hilarious sequence where Henry visits Madame Tussauds and throws a fit because his wax figure is depicted as a fat, bloated tyrant, while Anne Boleyn’s figure has flawless skin and a beautiful smile. He spends the rest of the novel trying to correct Wikipedia articles, arguing with tour guides, and demanding that Netflix remake “The Tudors” with a more accurate (and flattering) portrayal of his athletic prime. This commentary on how history remembers us versus how we remember ourselves is the satirical heart of the story, and it’s delivered with a heavy dose of royal entitlement.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
The comic timing of his wife jokes is so poor that he shows up to a modern comedy club and bombs completely, shouting “I killed Anne Boleyn!” as his punchline, only to be met with stony silence and a few boos, because he genuinely doesn’t understand why decapitation isn’t funny anymore.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private concert, and the band only plays covers of “Greensleeves” to mock him.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the hotel maid is a spy, so he hides all his belongings under the mattress.
His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a blender and it explodes because he put a whole pineapple in it, including the skin.
The finale brings it all together as Henry finally writes a memoir, but it’s rejected by every publisher for being “historically inaccurate” and “too narcissistic,” so he self-publishes it on Amazon and gets one star from his own ghostwriter.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French car and tries to sabotage it, only to set off its alarm and get chased by security.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a VR headset and gets so immersed that he tries to declare war on a virtual dragon, punching a hole in his wall.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
The final chapter shows him reading his own biography and being so offended by the portrayal that he writes angry margin notes in the library book, which gets him banned from the library for vandalism.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a statue erected in his honor, but the city council rejects it, so he makes one out of butter in his living room, which melts during a heatwave.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of a buffet and faints from sheer joy, then proceeds to clear out the entire buffet line while the other patrons watch in horror and amusement.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a vintage car worth millions, only to crash it into a lamppost because he doesn’t know how to drive, and he blames the lamppost for being in his royal way.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is showcased when he attends a marriage counseling session and spends the entire hour arguing with the therapist about the validity of papal dispensations.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant inflatable crown for his house, and the neighbors sue him for obstruction.
The court jester reversal is complete when his new wife makes him wear a t-shirt that says “Not the King” to a party, and he is mortified.
Money and extravagance are on display when he buys a solid-gold iPhone case, only to realize that it blocks the signal, and he blames the phone company for conspiring against his crown.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a painting done of him smelling a rose, but he has a pollen allergy and sneezes on it.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toilet and then realizes it’s freezing cold, so he has to buy a heated seat cover, doubling his costs.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his smartwatch because it keeps telling him to walk more.
The finale is perfect as he accepts a position as a glorified tour guide at the Tower of London, and his first tour consists of him telling visitors about the time he had his own friend executed, while the visitors just think he’s a really committed actor.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toilet and then realizes it’s freezing cold, so he has to buy a heated seat cover, doubling his costs.