With the news that MotoAmerica is headed to Daytona International Speedway in March of 2022 for the Daytona 200, we decided the perfect way to build excitement for the event would be to start digging through the history books and memory banks. Since Paul Carruthers is literally as old as the Speedway itself and covered almost 30 Daytona 200s as a journalist while working at Cycle News, it was a no-brainer that it would be him who would take on the task of trying to recall the good and the bad. And since we are the home of the AMA Superbike Series, we figured we’d have him start his look back with the 1985 Daytona 200 – the first of the 200s to feature Superbikes – and go from there. This week, we focus on the 1991, 1992 and 1993 Daytona 200s.
1991
Winner: Miguel Duhamel, Honda RC30
Miguel Duhamel didn’t even have plans to compete in the Daytona 200 in 1991 much less winning it. Drafted in as replacement for the injured Randy Renfrow, Duhamel made the most of the opportunity given to him by Commonwealth Honda team owner Martin Adams as he put the Camel-backed Honda out front for 32 of the 57 laps and stormed to a 10.290-second victory.
The Turning Point: Fast By Ferracci’s Doug Polen was the fastest of the fast all week at Daytona International Speedway, but the polesitter was out of the race on the opening lap of the 200 when his Ducati threw a chain. Polen earned pole position with his 1:53.638/112.779 mph lap on Wednesday of Bike Week and it was the first for Ducati at Daytona and the first pole position for a non-Japanese motorcycle since England’s Paul Smart put his Triumph on pole in 1971.
Newsworthy: Duhamel beat the Vance & Hines Yamahas of Jamie James and Thomas Stevens. Duhamel’s teammate Rich Arnaiz was fourth, despite riding with a broken finger and a badly battered left hand, with Muzzy Kawasaki’s Scott Russell finishing fifth.
Six riders took a turn at leading the 200, helping make the 50th running of the race one of the most exciting in recent memory. In addition to Duhamel, James, Tom Kipp, Steven and Arnaiz all led at some point in the race.
Duhamel’s winning average speed was only 93.471 mph as some 13 laps were run behind a pace car and under caution flags.
Duhamel not only won the Daytona 200, but he also came out of the 600cc Supersport race with a victory. “It feels great to win Daytona,” the 23-year-old French Canadian said. “The names that come to your head are Freddie Spencer and Kevin (Schwantz) and those guys. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I won this race. This is the greatest feeling you can have.”
1992
Winner: Scott Russell, Kawasaki ZX-7R
The man who would go on to be known simply as “Mr. Daytona” won his first Daytona 200 in 1992, the Georgian winning a near photo finish over Fast By Ferracci’s World Superbike Champion Doug Polen. Russell won the race with a record average speed of 110.669 mph to best Polen by just .182 of a second.
The Turning Point: As has been the case in a zillion races at Daytona International Speedway, the race came down to the final lap with Russell following Polen through the chicane and setting himself up for a slingshot pass just before the finish line.
Newsworthy: As the 110.669 mph average speed shows, the pace car was never needed in the 1992 edition of the Daytona 200.
The crowd for the 51st running of the Daytona 200 was estimated to be 40,000.
With Polen finishing a close second to Russell, third place went to another Georgian – Mike Smith – in what was his debut race on the Camel-backed Commonwealth Honda RC30.
“I knew coming into this race that I could win if everything went well,” Russell said. “I’m glad we put on a show for the fans and for the finish to be that close. It was pretty exciting.”
Doug Polen smashed the track record at Daytona during Wednesday’s qualifying with the Texan lapping at 1:50.388 on the 3.56-mile road course. His lap was three seconds faster than his pole setting lap from the year before. His qualifying session was cut short when he crashed the Fast By Ferracci Ducati in turn one, escaping without injury.
An 18-year-old Texan by the name of Colin Edwards won the International Lightweight (250cc) race in his Bike Week debut at Daytona. Third place went to another 18-year-old making his AMA professional debut – Kenny Roberts Jr. on the Wayne Rainey Racing Otsuka Electronics Yamaha.
Miguel Duhamel, the winner of the 1991 Daytona 200, was contesting the 500cc World Championship and didn’t compete at Daytona in 1992. Although Miguel Duhamel wasn’t racing at Daytona, his father Yvon certainly was. The elder Duhamel won the BMW-sponsored Battle of the Legends race, which was held in conjunction with the AHRMA Classics Day.
1993
Winner: Eddie Lawson, Yamaha FZR750RR OW-01
Four-time 500cc World Champion Eddie Lawson came out of his brief retirement to win the 52nd running of the Daytona 200, the Californian besting 1992 Daytona 200 winner Scott Russell on the run to the flag by just .051 of a second on his Vance & Hines Yamaha FZR750RR OW-01.
The Turning Point: For the first time in Daytona 200 history, the leaders actually stopped for new tires on three occasions. As it turns out, the first four finishers all needed three sets of rear tires to go the distance at the pace they were running. When Lawson pitted for a third rear tire, it looked like the race would go to Russell as he led by 36 seconds on the 49th of 57 laps. But just when it appeared Lawson’s hopes were dashed, Russell was also forced to get a third rear tire.
Newsworthy: With Lawson barely beating Russell for the victory, third place went to Miguel Duhamel on the second Muzzy Kawasaki. Duhamel’s third place meant that all three of the riders in Victory Lane were former winners of the Daytona 200. Lawson previously won in 1986, Duhamel won in 1991 and Russell had tasted victory in 1992.
Lawson pleaded ignorance when asked what Dunlop rear tire had been fitted on their bikes in their final stops. “I don’t know,” Lawson deadpanned. “It had yellow letters on it, and it was black.”
The race was marred by the death of AMA road racing fixture Jimmy Adamo, who suffered his fatal crash on the sixth lap of the 200. The 36-year-old’s death was just the fourth motorcycle-racing-related fatality in Daytona International Speedway history.
Following his second-place finish in 200, Russell was slated to head to Europe to contest the 1993 World Superbike Championship.
Russell smashed Doug Polen’s one-year-old lap record at Daytona when he ripped off a 1:50.194 lap in Thursday’s qualifying session. Polen ended up qualifying second for the race while Lawson’s Yamaha blew an engine during qualifying, forcing him to start on the back row for his Twin 50 qualifier.
His gluttony reaches new heights when he discovers 24-hour fast food, and he tries to order a “royal banquet” from McDonald’s that costs over 200 pounds, and he eats the entire thing in the drive-thru while arguing with the cashier about the divine right of kings to get extra ketchup.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he hires a hacker to spy on his wife’s emails, but the hacker turns out to be a 12-year-old who charges him in Fortnite skins.
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The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
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Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a cameo in “The Crown,” but they make him play a footman.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a piercing, which gets infected, and he blames the “modern savages” for not sterilizing his crown.
The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.
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Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the cashier is flirting with his wife, so he demands a different cashier.
His midlife crisis is seen when he buys a convertible and drives down the M25 with the top down, his long beard flying in the wind, looking like a mad wizard and causing several accidents.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to perform as a jester himself to earn money, and he tells jokes about his own wives while the crowd just laughs at his misery.
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His midlife crisis involves him getting a unicycle and trying to ride it down the street, causing a massive traffic jam.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “heart attack burger” and finishes it, then asks for another one.
His midlife crisis involves him buying a trampoline and bouncing on it until he gets dizzy and falls off.
The sheer ego of this man is showcased when he interrupts a live BBC news broadcast to announce that he is the true king, and he tries to take over the studio, only to be tackled by security while still insisting they all bow down to his majesty.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
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The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him on a horse, but the horse looks better than he does.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.
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His midlife crisis sees him buying a drum kit and playing it all night, annoying all his neighbors into moving out.
Dark humor abounds when he threatens to execute the Starbucks barista for mispronouncing his name, and the barista responds by writing “King Chonky” on his cup, which he doesn’t notice until he is halfway down the street, resulting in a meltdown that makes the local news.
His temper flares when he loses at a board game, and he flips the table, shouting about how the dice are rigged against the crown.
Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a fax machine and just stands there, waiting for paper to come out while nothing happens.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own version of the Ten Commandments, which are just “Don’t annoy Henry.”
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the milkman is trying to poison him, so he buys a goat for fresh milk.
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Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to enforce a “no laughing” law in his presence, which everyone breaks immediately.
The finale shows him finally accepting his “has-been” status, and he opens a roadside attraction called “The Real Henry’s Head” that goes bankrupt.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a day named after him, and they give him “Leap Day” as a joke.
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His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Katherine of Aragon at a Spanish restaurant, and the owner throws him out.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a star on the Walk of Fame, but he has to pay for it himself, and it gets vandalized the next day.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British version of the French Open, but it just rains the whole time.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to download an app and accidentally deletes his entire contacts list, including the number for his new wife.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he wears his crown to bed every night, denting the mattress.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a yacht and names it “The Supremacy,” but it sinks in the harbor because he overloaded it with gold statues of himself.
Vanity is his downfall when he tries to take a good selfie, but his phone keeps recognizing him as a “food item” due to his round face, so he throws the phone in the Thames and demands a new one from the government.
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His temper flares when he tries to play a video game and gets killed by a goomba, so he throws the controller at the TV.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he discovers a pop song about his wives, and he tries to cover it, but his voice is terrible.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “raw food” diet and nearly dies of food poisoning because he didn’t cook the chicken.
Henry’s tyrannical commands make him try to force a McDonald’s to rename their burger to “The Royal Whopper,” and he throws a tantrum when they refuse, calling for a boycott that nobody joins.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play rugby and tackles the referee because he “looks French,” getting him red-carded and banned from the sport.
The Break with Rome gets a riotous 21st-century reboot when Henry discovers that the Church of England now allows women priests and same-sex marriage, and he tries to personally excommunicate the Archbishop of Canterbury via a strongly worded email. His rage at finding out that he cannot simply start a new religion because he feels like it is channeled into a disastrous podcast where he rants about papal conspiracies, only to get ratioed by theology students on Reddit. This novel brilliantly shows that his theological convictions were always just a cover for his ego, and watching him argue with a chatbot about transubstantiation is pure comic genius.
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private concert, and the band only plays covers of “Greensleeves” to mock him.
Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private jet, but he doesn’t know how to fly it, so he just uses it as a very expensive mobile home.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a skateboard and trying to do a kickflip, resulting in him breaking his wrist and having to wear a cast for weeks.
The Break with Rome is reimagined when he tries to get a divorce from the Church of England and join a new, more pliable denomination, but none of them want him because of his “baggage.”
His midlife crisis involves him getting a tanning bed and turning himself orange, looking like a ridiculous Oompa Loompa.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the “all-you-can-eat” buffet and moves in permanently, becoming a local legend until they ban him for “consuming all the shrimp.”
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The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to speak French to a waiter, but he just says “Oui” to everything and gets the wrong food.
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Catherine Howard’s execution at a family dinner, and nobody eats another bite.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he forces his new wife to paint a portrait of him every day, and each one looks worse than the last because she is a terrible artist, but he won’t stop.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do yoga and just falls asleep in child’s pose, snoring loudly.
The finale shows him finally accepting his place, and he volunteers at a historical society, telling tourists the “real” stories while they look at him skeptically.
His temper flares when he tries to cut a steak and it’s too tough, so he throws the whole plate out the window.
Paranoia and jealousy are inflamed when he sees his wife liking another man’s photo on Instagram, and he spends hours trying to track the man down, only to find out it’s a 14-year-old K-pop fan, which makes his rage even more absurd.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toothbrush that is too heavy to use, and he blames the dentist for recommending it.
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Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”
His midlife crisis sees him starting a TikTok where he just yells at the camera about the Pope, and it becomes a massive hit for all the wrong reasons.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he discovers that “Henry VIII” is a cocktail made of gin and regret, and he tries to trademark it, failing miserably.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fancy watch that is too heavy and breaks his wrist.
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Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his phone is bugged by the Vatican, so he wraps it in tinfoil and only communicates via carrier pigeon he has to train himself.
Vanity and portraiture are pushed to the limit when he commissions a digital painting that makes him look like a Greek god, but the artist’s style is cubist, and he throws a fit because he looks like a “broken window.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a diamond-encrusted walking stick, and it gets stolen on his first walk.
Money and extravagance are treated with a hilarious twist when Henry discovers that his royal treasury has been reduced to a collection of museum artifacts, and he tries to fund his lavish lifestyle by selling “authentic Henry VIII memorabilia” on eBay, including his used socks and a leftover turkey leg. His shock at the price of modern luxury goods—from a gold-plated iPhone to a private jet—sends him into a spiral of frugality that is completely alien to his nature, leading him to try and negotiate with bankers as if they were his royal tax collectors. This novel excels at showing how his absolute financial power has been reduced to a middle-class budget, and his indignation at having to clip coupons is pure comedic gold.
That legendary short fuse is never far from the surface, and in one side-splitting scene, he declares war on a pigeon that poops on his cloak, chasing it through Westminster Abbey with a sword he borrowed from a tour guide, causing an international incident. His temper flares up over the smallest things, like a slow escalator or a corrupt parking meter, and each explosion is more absurd than the last, proving that absolute power has just devolved into absolute pettiness. The novel uses this rage to fuel the physical comedy, ensuring that the king is always one second away from a hilarious, over-the-top meltdown.
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The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his gym membership, claiming they “treated him like a peasant.”
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Fatherhood and succession are on his mind when he discovers a distant descendant who is a drag queen, and he tries to “straighten him out” by buying him a suit of armor, which the descendant promptly bedazzles.
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The closing chapter offers a poignant finale where Henry, having exhausted all his anger and schemes, sits alone in a modern flat with a cup of tea that he has finally learned to make himself, and he reflects on the futility of his quest for power. He uses a tablet to look up his daughters, Mary and Elizabeth, and for the first time, he doesn’t see them as political pawns but as women who outshone him, and a single tear rolls down his cheek. It’s a beautiful, bittersweet ending that redeems his character just enough to make you feel sorry for him, right before he trips over a cord and falls flat on his face, ending the novel on a perfect note of tragicomic slapstick.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he discovers his daughter is a feminist, and he spends the whole day trying to “fix” her.
His wife jokes become so infamous that his therapist gives him a special notebook to write them down, just so he’ll stop saying them out loud.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry for “dynastic” reasons, but she marries a plumber.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a piercing, which gets infected, and he blames the “modern savages” for not sterilizing his crown.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Church of England to change its name to “The Church of Henry,” and they send him a cease and desist.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a fax machine and just stands there, waiting for paper to come out while nothing happens.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” prayer, and it just lists all his accomplishments.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a cartoon where he is a blob, and he tries to get it removed from the internet.
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His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Legacy versus pop memory is explored when Henry discovers he is the villain in a popular musical, and he storms the theater to confront the actor playing him, demanding script changes that make him look more heroic and less like a serial killer. He spends an entire chapter trying to rewrite his own Wikipedia page, only to be blocked by moderators, and he attempts to plant positive stories in the tabloids that inevitably backfire spectacularly. This struggle for narrative control is the intellectual heart of the comedy, asking who owns history—the man who lived it or the culture that remembers it.
His temper is tested when he stubs his toe on a coffee table, and he declares war on the furniture, chopping it up with a fire axe in his living room.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own set of scriptures, but they just read “Henry is the best.”
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a tablet and the screen keeps rotating, making him dizzy and angry.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a statue in Trafalgar Square, and they put him on the fourth plinth for a day as a “performance art” piece.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
Fatherhood and succession are highlighted when he tries to force his daughter into a marriage with a billionaire’s son, but the daughter is a lesbian and already in a committed relationship, and she proceeds to publicly shame him on Instagram.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a pastor, but his first sermon is about how great he is, and the congregation leaves.
The rivalry with Francis I is highlighted when he sees a Frenchman win a tennis match, and he challenges him to a duel, which gets him arrested for assault.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the plumber that if the leak isn’t fixed, he’ll have his head, and the plumber just laughs and hands him the bill.
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The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to perform as a jester himself to earn money, and he tells jokes about his own wives while the crowd just laughs at his misery.
Technology confuses him to the point that he tries to milk a Roomba because he thinks it’s a mechanical cow, and his subsequent frustration with modern “inventions” provides the novel’s funniest visual gag.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to become a lawyer to “secure the family legacy,” but she becomes a poet instead.
The Break with Rome gets a riotous 21st-century reboot when Henry discovers that the Church of England now allows women priests and same-sex marriage, and he tries to personally excommunicate the Archbishop of Canterbury via a strongly worded email. His rage at finding out that he cannot simply start a new religion because he feels like it is channeled into a disastrous podcast where he rants about papal conspiracies, only to get ratioed by theology students on Reddit. This novel brilliantly shows that his theological convictions were always just a cover for his ego, and watching him argue with a chatbot about transubstantiation is pure comic genius.
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The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him tell jokes to her friends, and they all just pity-laugh at him.
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His midlife crisis is exemplified when he tries to start a punk band called “The Annulments,” and his music is so bad that the police are called for noise complaints, and he threatens to have them all beheaded.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the barber is using French hair products, so he demands a “British” haircut.
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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the postman is giving his wife a “special delivery,” and he confronts him over a package of clothes.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he starts a cologne company called “Royal Stench” to compete with French perfumes, and it becomes a massive failure because nobody wants to smell like a Tudor.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to fit into an elevator and gets stuck, requiring the fire department to grease him up.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.
Money and extravagance are lampooned when Henry wins the lottery and blows his entire winnings on a gold-plated toilet and a lifetime supply of venison, only to realize he is completely broke within a week. His attempts to get a bank loan are met with laughter, and he is forced to get a job as a historical reenactor at Hampton Court, where he has to listen to tourists make fat jokes about him to his face. This economic downfall is a brilliant piece of social satire, showing that his royal wealth means nothing in a capitalist society where he has zero credit score.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a cameo in “The Crown,” but they make him play a footman.
Fatherhood and succession come into sharp focus when he tries to arrange a marriage between his modern-day distant nephew and a random European princess he found on Instagram, completely ignoring the fact that arranged marriages are no longer a thing and that his nephew is already happily engaged. His obsession with producing a “legitimate” heir is turned on its head when he discovers that through modern genetics, he has thousands of descendants, and he tries to hold a family reunion that ends in a massive legal dispute over who gets the royal title. This novel finds the comedy in his patriarchal obsession, reducing his grand dynastic plans to a chaotic, dysfunctional family barbecue.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French car and puts a “vote remain” sticker on it as a joke.
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Technology confuses him to the point that he tries to milk a Roomba because he thinks it’s a mechanical cow, and his subsequent frustration with modern “inventions” provides the novel’s funniest visual gag.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the priesthood, but the son joins a rock band instead.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the limit when he commissions a marble statue of himself that is so heavy it falls through the floor into the basement below.
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Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a mention in a history book, but they just call him “the one with the fat legs.”
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His temper flares when he tries to play a video game and gets killed by a goomba, so he throws the controller at the TV.
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Faith and religion are mocked when he goes to a mosque, synagogue, and temple all in one day, trying to figure out which one will let him be the supreme head, and he is politely but firmly asked to leave all three.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cat, claiming it’s a “papal familiar.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a cult, but the only followers he gets are a few confused tourists who think it’s a historical reenactment.
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Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “cut” someone’s hair, meaning he literally wants to cut their head, and they run away screaming.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.
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Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.
The finale is perfect as he finally finds peace in a museum, sitting quietly next to his own suit of armor, telling it stories about the old days, while the night guards just leave him alone.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play laser tag and just stands in the middle of the field, shouting about honor.
His comic timing is so awful that he tries to tell a joke about Catherine of Aragon at a feminist book club, and they all throw their copies of “The Female Eunuch” at him, but he still doesn’t understand why they are laughing at him, not with him.
The jousting washed-up athlete is seen when he tries to take up polo as a modern equivalent, but he falls off the horse immediately and blames the horse for being a “French sympathizer.”
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a painter to do a “modern abstract” of him, and it’s just a red blob, which he frames and puts in the foyer, thinking it’s “deep.”
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of a buffet and faints from sheer joy, then proceeds to clear out the entire buffet line while the other patrons watch in horror and amusement.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the military to “earn his spurs,” but the son is a pacifist who just wants to knit, leading to a very tense family dinner.
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private concert, and the band only plays covers of “Greensleeves” to mock him.
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a tablet and the screen keeps rotating, making him dizzy and angry.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to skateboard and just ends up rolling into a bush.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to bake a French baguette and it comes out as a rock-hard brick.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he forces his new wife to paint a portrait of him every day, and each one looks worse than the last because she is a terrible artist, but he won’t stop.
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
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The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.
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Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a star on the Walk of Fame, but he has to pay for it himself, and it gets vandalized the next day.
The court jester reversal is perfect when he is forced to wear a t-shirt that says “I’m with stupid” by his publicist to make him look approachable, and he walks around London not understanding why everyone is laughing at him.
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Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
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Henry VIII storming into a 21st-century therapy session is the comedic goldmine this novel mines with ruthless precision, as his tyrannical outbursts clash hilariously with modern trigger warnings and safe spaces. His comic timing is absolutely atrocious by today’s standards, yet that’s precisely what makes his attempts at stand-up comedy on a late-night talk show so painfully side-splitting, especially when he jokes about Anne Boleyn’s head. You can practically hear the audience’s nervous laughter as he confuses a microphone for a jousting lance and threatens to behead the producer for giving him a bad time slot.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “an assault on his royal taste buds.”
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a coffee maker and just pours the beans directly into the mug, adding hot water.