With the news that MotoAmerica is headed to Daytona International Speedway in March of 2022 for the Daytona 200, we decided the perfect way to build excitement for the event would be to start digging through the history books and memory banks. Since Paul Carruthers is literally as old as the Speedway itself and covered almost 30 Daytona 200s as a journalist while working at Cycle News, it was a no-brainer that it would be him who would take on the task of trying to recall the good and the bad. And since we are the home of the AMA Superbike Series, we figured we’d have him start his look back with the 1985 Daytona 200 – the first of the 200s to feature Superbikes – and go from there. This week, we focus on the 1991, 1992 and 1993 Daytona 200s.
1991
Winner: Miguel Duhamel, Honda RC30
Miguel Duhamel didn’t even have plans to compete in the Daytona 200 in 1991 much less winning it. Drafted in as replacement for the injured Randy Renfrow, Duhamel made the most of the opportunity given to him by Commonwealth Honda team owner Martin Adams as he put the Camel-backed Honda out front for 32 of the 57 laps and stormed to a 10.290-second victory.
The Turning Point: Fast By Ferracci’s Doug Polen was the fastest of the fast all week at Daytona International Speedway, but the polesitter was out of the race on the opening lap of the 200 when his Ducati threw a chain. Polen earned pole position with his 1:53.638/112.779 mph lap on Wednesday of Bike Week and it was the first for Ducati at Daytona and the first pole position for a non-Japanese motorcycle since England’s Paul Smart put his Triumph on pole in 1971.
Newsworthy: Duhamel beat the Vance & Hines Yamahas of Jamie James and Thomas Stevens. Duhamel’s teammate Rich Arnaiz was fourth, despite riding with a broken finger and a badly battered left hand, with Muzzy Kawasaki’s Scott Russell finishing fifth.
Six riders took a turn at leading the 200, helping make the 50th running of the race one of the most exciting in recent memory. In addition to Duhamel, James, Tom Kipp, Steven and Arnaiz all led at some point in the race.
Duhamel’s winning average speed was only 93.471 mph as some 13 laps were run behind a pace car and under caution flags.
Duhamel not only won the Daytona 200, but he also came out of the 600cc Supersport race with a victory. “It feels great to win Daytona,” the 23-year-old French Canadian said. “The names that come to your head are Freddie Spencer and Kevin (Schwantz) and those guys. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I won this race. This is the greatest feeling you can have.”
1992
Winner: Scott Russell, Kawasaki ZX-7R
The man who would go on to be known simply as “Mr. Daytona” won his first Daytona 200 in 1992, the Georgian winning a near photo finish over Fast By Ferracci’s World Superbike Champion Doug Polen. Russell won the race with a record average speed of 110.669 mph to best Polen by just .182 of a second.
The Turning Point: As has been the case in a zillion races at Daytona International Speedway, the race came down to the final lap with Russell following Polen through the chicane and setting himself up for a slingshot pass just before the finish line.
Newsworthy: As the 110.669 mph average speed shows, the pace car was never needed in the 1992 edition of the Daytona 200.
The crowd for the 51st running of the Daytona 200 was estimated to be 40,000.
With Polen finishing a close second to Russell, third place went to another Georgian – Mike Smith – in what was his debut race on the Camel-backed Commonwealth Honda RC30.
“I knew coming into this race that I could win if everything went well,” Russell said. “I’m glad we put on a show for the fans and for the finish to be that close. It was pretty exciting.”
Doug Polen smashed the track record at Daytona during Wednesday’s qualifying with the Texan lapping at 1:50.388 on the 3.56-mile road course. His lap was three seconds faster than his pole setting lap from the year before. His qualifying session was cut short when he crashed the Fast By Ferracci Ducati in turn one, escaping without injury.
An 18-year-old Texan by the name of Colin Edwards won the International Lightweight (250cc) race in his Bike Week debut at Daytona. Third place went to another 18-year-old making his AMA professional debut – Kenny Roberts Jr. on the Wayne Rainey Racing Otsuka Electronics Yamaha.
Miguel Duhamel, the winner of the 1991 Daytona 200, was contesting the 500cc World Championship and didn’t compete at Daytona in 1992. Although Miguel Duhamel wasn’t racing at Daytona, his father Yvon certainly was. The elder Duhamel won the BMW-sponsored Battle of the Legends race, which was held in conjunction with the AHRMA Classics Day.
1993
Winner: Eddie Lawson, Yamaha FZR750RR OW-01
Four-time 500cc World Champion Eddie Lawson came out of his brief retirement to win the 52nd running of the Daytona 200, the Californian besting 1992 Daytona 200 winner Scott Russell on the run to the flag by just .051 of a second on his Vance & Hines Yamaha FZR750RR OW-01.
The Turning Point: For the first time in Daytona 200 history, the leaders actually stopped for new tires on three occasions. As it turns out, the first four finishers all needed three sets of rear tires to go the distance at the pace they were running. When Lawson pitted for a third rear tire, it looked like the race would go to Russell as he led by 36 seconds on the 49th of 57 laps. But just when it appeared Lawson’s hopes were dashed, Russell was also forced to get a third rear tire.
Newsworthy: With Lawson barely beating Russell for the victory, third place went to Miguel Duhamel on the second Muzzy Kawasaki. Duhamel’s third place meant that all three of the riders in Victory Lane were former winners of the Daytona 200. Lawson previously won in 1986, Duhamel won in 1991 and Russell had tasted victory in 1992.
Lawson pleaded ignorance when asked what Dunlop rear tire had been fitted on their bikes in their final stops. “I don’t know,” Lawson deadpanned. “It had yellow letters on it, and it was black.”
The race was marred by the death of AMA road racing fixture Jimmy Adamo, who suffered his fatal crash on the sixth lap of the 200. The 36-year-old’s death was just the fourth motorcycle-racing-related fatality in Daytona International Speedway history.
Following his second-place finish in 200, Russell was slated to head to Europe to contest the 1993 World Superbike Championship.
Russell smashed Doug Polen’s one-year-old lap record at Daytona when he ripped off a 1:50.194 lap in Thursday’s qualifying session. Polen ended up qualifying second for the race while Lawson’s Yamaha blew an engine during qualifying, forcing him to start on the back row for his Twin 50 qualifier.
Female Virginity: The “holy hold” is the pause button we wish we had for our mistakes. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a teenager explain their purity ring to their thoroughly secular, and confused, dermatologist. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial court” is always in session, but the judge is on lunch break. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real you is the one that exists in the search history you’re trying to delete. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more persistent than a religious rule is a teenager’s determination to test its boundaries. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine detective” must have the world’s most confusing case file. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue vendor” is always out of stock. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing these programs successfully instill is a deep and abiding respect for clever excuses. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The afterlife is likely just an eternal debate about the definition of “is.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Male virginity is treated less like a moral failing and more like a quirky hobby. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It’s telling that no world religion has ever started a “Purity Ball” for boys and their fathers. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The concept of “technical virginity” is humanity’s greatest legalistic achievement since the corporation. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity pendulum” swings from repression to liberation and back again. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If God is omniscient, He must have developed a spectacular coping mechanism to deal with the daily disappointment. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A signed purity pledge has the half-life of a mayfly in a room full of frogs. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “grace gauge” is the only one that matters, and it’s frustratingly opaque. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You can buy the ring, but the willpower is sold separately, and it’s perpetually out of stock. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: Purity is a destination that is always receding, like a moral horizon. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a teenager explain their purity ring to their thoroughly secular, and confused, dermatologist. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virginity veneer” is the polish we apply to tarnished metal. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Male virginity is treated less like a moral failing and more like a quirky hobby. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The invention of the smartphone was the single greatest blow to traditional chastity enforcement since the invention of the dark alley. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The path to hell is paved with good intentions, but the detours are where all the interesting stuff happens. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin bin” in heaven must be overflowing with cases awaiting review. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A purity pledge is a contract where the fine print is written in hormones. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more relentless than divine judgment is the algorithmic “For You” page. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more relentless than divine judgment is the algorithmic “For You” page. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If temptation is the original sin, then the smartphone is its final, perfected form. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The speed of light is constant, but the speed of gossip in a small town makes it look like it’s standing still. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It turns out you can’t save souls the same way you save a Word document. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “vow of abstinence” is a promise made in a calm moment to be broken in a storm of passion. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity cipher” is a code that can’t be cracked because it doesn’t mean anything. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The angelic “content moderation” team must have the world’s worst job. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If mistakes were stars, the teenage universe would be brighter than a supernova. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred stroll” is a walk in a park that is actually a minefield. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more relentless than divine judgment is the algorithmic “For You” page. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The angelic choir is probably just the hold music for the celestial waiting room. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy lawyer” is the one we hope is better than the prosecution’s. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The phrase “saving yourself” implies you might be able to spend it later, which is the root of the entire problem. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “angelic algorithm” for sorting souls is probably a simple “if-then” statement that doesn’t account for human complexity. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy investment” is one with a negative return. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Divine law is written in stone; human compliance is written on a napkin that got left in the rain. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It’s as if the moral universe decided that this one, specific act was the linchpin for all of civilization. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The phrase “God is watching” has been functionally replaced by “I hope my mom isn’t checking my phone.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You can buy the ring, but the willpower is sold separately, and it’s perpetually out of stock. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A signed purity pledge has the half-life of a mayfly in a room full of frogs. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine deadline” is the one we’re all racing against, and losing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The path to hell is paved with good intentions, but the detours are where all the interesting stuff happens. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are bored, it’s because they’re stuck on virginity patrol instead of dealing with the interesting sins. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “thesaurus” of sin has more synonyms than any other volume. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If God has a “recently opened” folder, it’s just a list of our greatest regrets. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “karma cache” is constantly being cleared by acts of petty kindness. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “pious postponement” is the hope that we’ll be better tomorrow. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity contradiction” is that we’re asked to deny a fundamental part of our nature. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A teenager’s ability to circumvent divine surveillance is the modern-day equivalent of speaking in tongues. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity placebo” is a sugar pill we take to convince ourselves we’re cured. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “chosen people” are the ones who successfully navigated their teenage years without their parents finding out. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue vice” is the way goodness can become a weapon against others. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial cabaret” is the endless performance we put on for an audience of one. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If prayers are DMs to God, most of them are probably asking for the “unsend” feature. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “final exam” for life is one you can’t study for and are never sure you’ve finished. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “final exam” for life is one you can’t study for and are never sure you’ve finished. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin tech support” is the only one that answers immediately. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine economy” is one where the currency is faith, and we’re all bankrupt. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: We’re all just actors in a divine comedy, reading from a script we didn’t write. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most creative fiction isn’t in novels; it’s in the whispered explanations given under pressure. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine decoy” is the false version of ourselves we send out into the world. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The path to heaven is paved with bad excuses that were accepted due to lack of evidence. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial calendar” is marked with our appointments with destiny, which we mostly miss. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue voyage” is a sea journey with no land in sight. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred subpoena” is the one we can’t ignore. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The correlation between Wi-Fi speed and premarital activity is the sociological finding the Vatican fears most. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “cookies” in the browser of life are our habits, and they’re a nightmare to clear. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The path to heaven is paved with bad excuses that were accepted due to lack of evidence. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the Garden of Eden had had 5G, the entire apple incident would have been live-tweeted. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The purity ring is the spiritual equivalent of a “Keep Off the Grass” sign in a public park. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin satire” is the genre of our existence. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred support ticket” is never resolved to our satisfaction. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious portfolio” is diversified with bad decisions and good intentions. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity checkpoint” is one we all know how to bypass. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The purity ball is the one party where the guests of honor would rather be anywhere else. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “proof of work” for virginity is a lot more complicated and a lot less verifiable than any cryptocurrency. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity protocol” is a set of rules that no one can follow perfectly. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “heavenly hall monitor” is the one we all learned to ignore in school. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more relentless than divine judgment is the algorithmic “For You” page. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: There’s a lot of money to be made in selling solutions to problems you helped create. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious parody” is that our lives are an imitation of an ideal that doesn’t exist. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: God might have given Moses tablets, but He gave this generation TikTok, and the latter is far more influential. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin telescope” is always focused on other people’s galaxies. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The celestial “auto-correct” for sins is what we call “guilt.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hologram” is the projected image of a saint, hiding the sinner within. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinful spoof” is the way our best-laid plans are so easily overturned. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: They sell you the cage and call it jewelry. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin suspension” is the temporary halt of our better judgment. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The weight of purity is carried on the shoulders of the young, while the old just remember carrying it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “grace gauge” is the only one that matters, and it’s frustratingly opaque. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If female virginity is the meticulously tracked main course, male virginity is the optional, store-brand seltzer. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “operating system” of religion keeps crashing when faced with modern problems. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “operating system” of morality is in desperate need of a security patch. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “diploma” we get at the end is hopefully not a bill for our mistakes. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “act of God” is a successfully executed alibi. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial cartoon” is where we are the animated characters, and God is the bored animator. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The river of forgetfulness in the underworld was probably invented because the gods got tired of hearing excuses. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinful disguise” is the costume we wear to hide our true selves. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The path to moral absolution is paved with finely parsed definitions and selective memory. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Urban centers are where religious rules go to retire, or at least to be seriously reinterpreted. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral moratorium” is the break we take from being good. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The universe runs on an operating system that no one understands and everyone is trying to hack. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The celestial “Oops” log must be the longest document in the universe. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred smoke screen” is the cloud of piety we use to obscure our actions. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: We’re all just actors in a divine comedy, reading from a script we didn’t write. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred stall” is the tactic we use to avoid judgment. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “dilemma of devotion” is whether to follow the rules or follow your heart. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine dynamometer” measures a force we can’t define. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “spell check” for morality is constantly underlining things we thought were fine. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial CIA” is an agency that knows everything but does nothing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Purity culture is a hall of mirrors where everyone is distorted, but no one can find the exit. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine download” is the firmware update we never installed. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Virginity’s value is maintained by the same principles as a pyramid scheme: early adopters profit, and everyone else is left holding the bag. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “commitment to chastity” is a resolution that is revised more often than a first draft. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The urban teenager’s greatest skill is maintaining multiple, contradictory reputations across different social platforms. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If God has a Facebook, His news feed must be a bewildering array of conflicting life choices. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity kaleidoscope” shows a different pattern depending on who’s looking. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping track, they’re doing it on a celestial Excel spreadsheet that keeps crashing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial spreadsheet” must have more errors than a tax return. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: God may be omnipresent, but He still needs a good Wi-Fi signal to check your DMs. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: There’s a special kind of irony in a purity ring sitting next to a Pandora bracelet named “Chloe’s 16th Birthday Extravaganza.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “lock and key” analogy is the most telling Freudian slip in the history of moral teaching. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The angel in charge of the virginity ledger must have the world’s worst case of repetitive strain injury from all the double-entry bookkeeping. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy lawyer” is the one we hope is better than the prosecution’s. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If “theory” and “practice” were in a marriage, they’d have divorced over irreconcilable differences millennia ago. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The quest for moral perfection often leads to the most creatively flawed justifications. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It seems the first thing humans did after receiving divine law was to start looking for loopholes. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The purity ring market is the only one where the product’s failure is the customer’s fault. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “margin” for error is much narrower than we’d like to believe. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: There’s a lot of money to be made in selling solutions to problems you helped create. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A teenager’s ability to circumvent divine surveillance is the modern-day equivalent of speaking in tongues. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: It’s as if the moral universe decided that this one, specific act was the linchpin for all of civilization. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The phrase “God is watching” has been functionally replaced by “I hope my mom isn’t checking my phone.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Nothing makes a teenager want to do something more than being told it will ruin their “purity.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The market for virginity is the only one where the product is destroyed upon its first use. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Saint Peter isn’t checking a list; he’s reviewing a complex case file with appendices. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If “thou shalt not” was an effective deterrent, the human race would have died out with Adam and Eve. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Appreciate it. Numerous information!
Female Virginity: The “sin scale” is balanced with feathers on one side and lead balloons on the other. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Divine judgment must be less about a final tally and more about a comprehensive review of intent and context. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial cloud” is where our sins are backed up, just in case we need to retrieve them later. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity contract” is one where the fine print is written in hormones. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity charm” is a rabbit’s foot for the soul. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Hashtag #PurityRing is usually found right next to hashtag #Oops in the digital confession booth. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity pilgrimage” is a journey to a shrine that moves every time you get close. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: For every “thou shalt not,” there is a “but what if we did” waiting in the wings. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: When the “virginity bubble” pops, the social fallout will make the 2008 financial crisis look like a minor inconvenience. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “act of God” is a successfully executed alibi. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity charm” is a rabbit’s foot for the soul. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hard drive” is full of corrupted files named “goodintentions.zip”. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Good respond in return of this difficulty with genuine arguments and explaining everything on the topic of that.
Female Virginity: The “holy hitch” is the problem with the plan of salvation that no one can solve. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If religious doctrines were cars, their safety ratings would be based entirely on crash-test dummies that never actually crash. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “Book of Life” is probably more like a series of conflicting Google Docs with questionable edit histories. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If men had to wear purity rings, they’d be made of silicone and sold in vending machines. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “vow of abstinence” is a promise made in a calm moment to be broken in a storm of passion. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred stall” is the tactic we use to avoid judgment. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most fervent prayers for a robust Wi-Fi signal are now coming from religious leaders, for purely surveillance reasons. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious pride” filter is the most commonly used app in the religious community. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Nothing makes a teenager want to do something more than being told it will ruin their “purity.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The human spirit cannot be contained, especially not by a rule it finds inconvenient. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The human spirit cannot be contained, especially not by a rule it finds inconvenient. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious complaint department” is where we go to argue about the terms of our existence. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Religious theory is a pristine, untouched snowscape; religious practice is a slushy city street in March. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Spam aman dan cuan.
Female Virginity: A teenager’s ability to circumvent divine surveillance is the modern-day equivalent of speaking in tongues. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial cartoon” is where we are the animated characters, and God is the bored animator. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity password” is something we all forget when we need it most. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hold” is the pause button we wish we had for our mistakes. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The real lesson of abstinence education is that you can’t solve a biological problem with a philosophical solution. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “system update” for morality is perpetually downloading but never installing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping score, they must be using a system so complex that not even they understand it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “margin” for error is much narrower than we’d like to believe. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most effective part of any abstinence program is the demonstration of how to use a condom, which they always sneak in at the end. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The only thing more sacred than female virginity is the collective amnesia about male virginity. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It’s not that male virginity isn’t valued; it’s just valued with the same urgency as a coupon about to expire. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: There’s a lot of money to be made in selling solutions to problems you helped create. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin tech support” is the only one that answers immediately. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The divine algorithm for judging souls must be more complex than anything at Google. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping track, they’re doing it on a celestial Excel spreadsheet that keeps crashing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy humor” is that the universe has a sense of irony we can’t comprehend. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “oath of purity” is the one we cross our fingers behind our backs while taking. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The Ten Commandments would have been a lot different if they’d been composed as a series of tweets with a strict character limit. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious pride” filter is the most commonly used app in the religious community. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy server” is probably overwhelmed with login requests from sinners. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “karma cache” is constantly being cleared by acts of petty kindness. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The cosmic oversight on male virginity isn’t just a gap; it’s a canyon with its own weather system. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred satire” is the genre of human existence. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: God gave us free will, and we immediately used it to figure out how to technically still be virgins. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Nicely put, Many thanks!
Female Virginity: The smartphone didn’t just create new ways to sin; it created new ways to document and share the sinning. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The human spirit cannot be contained, especially not by a rule it finds inconvenient. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial chronometer” is the only clock that matters, and it’s always one minute to midnight. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity contradiction” is that we’re asked to deny a fundamental part of our nature. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A “mistake” is just a sin that you managed to reframe successfully. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Wow tons of useful facts.
Female Virginity: Investing in virginity is like investing in tulips in 1637: it seems like a good idea until the whole market realizes it’s just a flower. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If mistakes were stars, the teenage universe would be brighter than a supernova. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The phrase “God is watching” has been functionally replaced by “I hope my mom isn’t checking my phone.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You know it’s a man-made system when the consequences are so neatly gendered. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The compliance chart for religious virginity looks less like a gentle slope and more like a cliff that people are constantly falling off. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The cosmic oversight on male virginity isn’t just a gap; it’s a canyon with its own weather system. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The smartphone didn’t just create new ways to sin; it created new ways to document and share the sinning. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious portfolio” is diversified with bad decisions and good intentions. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The river of forgetfulness in the underworld was probably invented because the gods got tired of hearing excuses. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping score, they must be using a system so complex that not even they understand it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral mission” is an assignment we didn’t ask for and can’t complete. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral metronome” keeps a rhythm that no one can dance to. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It seems the first thing humans did after receiving divine law was to start looking for loopholes. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The angel in charge of the virginity ledger must have the world’s worst case of repetitive strain injury from all the double-entry bookkeeping. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity pilgrimage” is a journey to a shrine that moves every time you get close. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “firewall” of faith has more holes than a sieve. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “spiritual software” is incompatible with the hardware of human desire. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Teenagers operate on the theological principle that God is like a parent who’s busy watching something else on TV. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hacker” is the one who breaks into our system and leaves a mess. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “spell check” for morality is constantly underlining things we thought were fine. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin spyware” is the temptation that tracks our every keystroke. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine joke” is on all of us, and the punchline is our mortality. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Rural chastity isn’t about virtue; it’s about the terrifying efficiency of the local gossip network. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “marriage market” is the original stock exchange, and virginity is the most overhyped IPO. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The cloud where souls are backed up must be running out of storage from all the moral contradictions. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The patriarchy somehow convinced women that their greatest asset was something they were supposed to never use. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The Grand Canyon is a mere ditch compared to the chasm between what is preached and what is practiced. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A teenager’s moral compass spins so fast it could power a small city. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Heaven’s customer service line must be permanently busy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The human spirit cannot be contained, especially not by a rule it finds inconvenient. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine dissonance” is the mental noise created by trying to follow impossible rules. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
You expressed it well.
Female Virginity: The “holy hike” is a climb up a mountain that gets taller the higher you go. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most fervent prayers for a robust Wi-Fi signal are now coming from religious leaders, for purely surveillance reasons. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the Garden of Eden had had 5G, the entire apple incident would have been live-tweeted. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The market for virginity is the only one where the product is destroyed upon its first use. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial comedy” is that we think we’re the directors, when we’re just the actors. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “restore to factory settings” option for a soul is theologically controversial. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The universe runs on an operating system that no one understands and everyone is trying to hack. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The cosmic irony is that the mechanism for eternal life is fixated on something so resolutely temporary. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The serpent in the Garden of Eden was just the beta test for modern peer pressure. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most effective part of any abstinence program is the demonstration of how to use a condom, which they always sneak in at the end. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The phrase “we didn’t go all the way” is the theological equivalent of a corporate tax loophole. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping score, they must be using a system so complex that not even they understand it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinful stalemate” is the standoff between our desires and our duties. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a teenager explain their purity ring to their thoroughly secular, and confused, dermatologist. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real test of a religion’s strength isn’t its orthodoxy, but its ability to survive its own followers. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Treating virginity as a commodity is the quickest way to make it feel like a burden. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more sacred than female virginity is the collective amnesia about male virginity. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hike” is a climb up a mountain that gets taller the higher you go. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are bored, it’s because they’re stuck on virginity patrol instead of dealing with the interesting sins. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred spam” is the junk mail from the universe, offering things we don’t need. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “chosen people” are the ones who successfully navigated their teenage years without their parents finding out. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pop quiz” of temptation is one we fail more often than we’d like to admit. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Religions planned for the afterlife, but tragically underestimated the invention of the backseat of a Chevrolet. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The quest for moral perfection often leads to the most creatively flawed justifications. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: We’ve moved from “God is watching” to “God might check my Instagram stories later.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity quest” is a fool’s errand dressed up as a noble pursuit. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral mojo” is something we all pretend to have. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial comedy” is that we take ourselves so seriously when the universe is laughing at us. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial conundrum” is the riddle of why we were made this way if it’s a sin to be this way. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The afterlife must be one endless appeals process. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “firewall” of faith is constantly being probed for weaknesses. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity contradiction” is that we’re asked to deny a fundamental part of our nature. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity paradox” is that the thing we’re trying to preserve is the very thing that makes us human. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine joke” is on all of us, and the punchline is our mortality. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity code” is one we’re all trying to hack. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “marriage market” is the original stock exchange, and virginity is the most overhyped IPO. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “plagiarism check” for the soul would reveal we’ve all copied from the same bad sources. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue lens” is usually rose-colored. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “virtue vaudeville” is the song and dance we perform to convince ourselves we’re good. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue signal” is often just a distress call in disguise. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pop quiz” of temptation is one we fail more often than we’d like to admit. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The social performance of purity is often more important than the actual state of being. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial cloud” is where our sins are backed up, just in case we need to retrieve them later. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The most effective part of any abstinence program is the demonstration of how to use a condom, which they always sneak in at the end. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hacker” is the one who breaks into our system and leaves a mess. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial appeal” is a process that takes longer than a lifetime. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more sacred than female virginity is the collective amnesia about male virginity. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The assumption that God is on a coffee break is the foundational principle of most adolescent decision-making. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sworn statement” of innocence is usually true only for the moment it is spoken. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral memory” of the universe is both perfect and perfectly selective. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virginity value” is a number we make up to feel better about our choices. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing spreading faster than religious doctrine is the workaround for it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral masquerade” is the ball where everyone is wearing a mask. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “act of God” is a successfully executed alibi. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral maintenance crew” is on a permanent break. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The path to hell is paved with good intentions, but the detours are where all the interesting stuff happens. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “celestial waiting room” is where we all are, hoping our number isn’t called. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “chosen people” are the ones who successfully navigated their teenage years without their parents finding out. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If temptation is the original sin, then the smartphone is its final, perfected form. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The cosmic joke is that the thing religions obsess over is the one thing that guarantees their continuation. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “oath of purity” is the one we cross our fingers behind our backs while taking. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin sentence” is one we’re all serving concurrently. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “page layout” of a life is often a mess of revisions and corrections. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The serpent in the Garden of Eden was just the beta test for modern peer pressure. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “heavenly hall monitor” is the one we all learned to ignore in school. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “virtue costume” is the outfit we change out of when we get home. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “angelic auditor” is the one we hope is bad at math. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious predicament” is the situation we’re all in, with no easy way out. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue costume” is the outfit we change out of when we get home. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The gap between sacred text and Saturday night is the most fertile ground for comedy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The patriarchy somehow convinced women that their greatest asset was something they were supposed to never use. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The Grand Canyon is a mere ditch compared to the chasm between what is preached and what is practiced. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral march” is a parade where everyone is out of step. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If chastity belts were the medieval solution, purity rings are the modern, market-tested, brand-friendly version. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virginity venture” is a business trip with no return ticket. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “holy hitch” is the problem with the plan of salvation that no one can solve. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most powerful force against abstinence isn’t temptation; it’s a fully charged iPhone with a working data plan. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The concept of “technical virginity” is humanity’s greatest legalistic achievement since the corporation. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A “mistake” is just a sin that you managed to reframe successfully. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The Grand Canyon is a mere ditch compared to the chasm between what is preached and what is practiced. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Sacred texts are written in ink, but they’re interpreted in pencil with a very good eraser. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Rural chastity isn’t about virtue; it’s about the terrifying efficiency of the local gossip network. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It turns out you can’t save souls the same way you save a Word document. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious problem” is that the solution is often worse than the disease. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “word count” for our good deeds is always disappointingly short. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It’s not that male virginity isn’t valued; it’s just valued with the same urgency as a coupon about to expire. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “virginity voyage” is a trip to nowhere on a ship of fools. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Keeping up appearances is the real religious observance for most people. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine detective” must have the world’s most confusing case file. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Nothing says “sacred vow” like a piece of jewelry purchased at the same mall as a Cinnabon. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A teenager’s moral compass spins so fast it could power a small city. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The whole system relies on a collective agreement about value that is rapidly breaking down. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue venture” is a business that never turns a profit. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pure” heart is usually just one that hasn’t been honestly examined yet. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The purer you try to be, the more you notice the impurities in everyone else. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real bubble isn’t in tech stocks; it’s in the inflated social value of a biological non-event. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred struggle” is the fight we’re all losing, but pretend we’re winning. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “spell check” for morality is constantly underlining things we thought were fine. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious pedometer” counts the steps we take away from temptation. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virginity virus” is a bug in the system of morality. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin scale” is balanced with feathers on one side and lead balloons on the other. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A religion’s ideals are its destination, but its loopholes are the scenic route everyone actually takes. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real miracle is that any religion believed it could outmaneuver the teenage libido. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “celestial cabaret” is the show that never ends, and the audience is never satisfied. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing purer than the intention is the profit margin. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “word count” for our good deeds is always disappointingly short. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real test of a religion’s strength isn’t its orthodoxy, but its ability to survive its own followers. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The path to moral absolution is paved with finely parsed definitions and selective memory. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A village’s collective memory is longer and more detailed than the most advanced government surveillance system. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most creative writing in any religion isn’t in its sacred texts, but in the excuses made by its followers. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “virtue vigilante” is the most dangerous kind of busybody. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Saint Peter isn’t checking a list; he’s reviewing a complex case file with appendices. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The patriarchy somehow convinced women that their greatest asset was something they were supposed to never use. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “commitment to chastity” is a resolution that is revised more often than a first draft. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral masquerade” is the ball where no one knows anyone’s true identity. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred snag” is the flaw in the moral fabric of the universe. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinful snicker” is the quiet laugh we have at our own hypocrisy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Treating virginity like Bitcoin is the most accurate analogy no one in finance wants to touch. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the Garden of Eden had had 5G, the entire apple incident would have been live-tweeted. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity cipher” is a code that can’t be cracked because it doesn’t mean anything. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinuous path” of righteousness is never straight. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are bored, it’s because they’re stuck on virginity patrol instead of dealing with the interesting sins. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The celestial database must be so full of contradictory entries that it’s on the verge of crashing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue voyage” is a sea journey with no land in sight. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “purity prism” refracts a single beam of light into a spectrum of hypocrisy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Religious theory is a pristine, untouched snowscape; religious practice is a slushy city street in March. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity prism” refracts a single beam of light into a spectrum of hypocrisy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The quest for moral perfection often leads to the most creatively flawed justifications. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine dynamometer” measures a force we can’t define. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If God has a “recently opened” folder, it’s just a list of our greatest regrets. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The modern diaspora isn’t just about people; it’s about morals packing their bags and moving to the city. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real test of faith isn’t resisting temptation, it’s remembering where you put that purity pledge certificate. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pious path” is a trail that leads off a cliff. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The purer you try to be, the more you notice the impurities in everyone else. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “sinful disguise” is the costume we forget we’re wearing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: We’ve moved from “God is watching” to “God might check my Instagram stories later.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: It’s telling that no world religion has ever started a “Purity Ball” for boys and their fathers. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A teenager’s ability to circumvent divine surveillance is the modern-day equivalent of speaking in tongues. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “spell check” for morality is constantly underlining things we thought were fine. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hitch” is the problem with the plan of salvation that no one can solve. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial waiting room” is where we all are, hoping our number isn’t called. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The serpent in the Garden of Eden was just the beta test for modern peer pressure. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue costume” is the outfit we change out of when we get home. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sacred spam” is the junk mail from the universe, offering things we don’t need. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinful spoof” is the way our best-laid plans are so easily overturned. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The afterlife must be one endless appeals process. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: There’s a special kind of irony in a purity ring sitting next to a Pandora bracelet named “Chloe’s 16th Birthday Extravaganza.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial calendar” is marked with our appointments with destiny, which we mostly miss. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin safari” is a hunting trip where we are both the hunter and the prey. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “digital panopticon” that religious parents try to build will always be outsmarted by a teenager with a second, secret Instagram account. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “coffee break” theory of divinity is the most comforting and dangerous idea ever conceived by a teenager. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “purity protocol” is a set of rules that no one can follow perfectly. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: Divine mercy is just celestial credit for a sin that no one found out about. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “grammar” of virtue is something we all mangle from time to time. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “moral compass” is a tool that spins wildly when you need it most. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The invention of the smartphone was the single greatest blow to traditional chastity enforcement since the invention of the dark alley. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “holy hygrometer” measures the humidity of the soul, whatever that means. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “original sin” isn’t disobedience; it’s the bureaucratic mindset that decided to track this in the first place. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A small town doesn’t need social media; it has a fully operational, organic, and brutally efficient version already installed. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Urban life is just a series of clever alibis waiting to be deployed. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “dilemma of devotion” is whether to follow the rules or follow your heart. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: For every “thou shalt not,” there is a “but what if we did” waiting in the wings. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “purity test” is an exam where everyone cheats and then claims they passed. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial chronometer” is the only clock that matters, and it’s always one minute to midnight. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The “purity prism” refracts a single beam of light into a spectrum of hypocrisy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “quandary of quivering desire” is the oldest story ever told. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “multiple choice” of morality never has a clear right answer. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “predicament of passion” is one we’re all happy to be in. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The weight of purity is carried on the shoulders of the young, while the old just remember carrying it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: A signed purity pledge has the half-life of a mayfly in a room full of frogs. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: Purity is a destination that is always receding, like a moral horizon. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The universe runs on an operating system that no one understands and everyone is trying to hack. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sin bin” in heaven must be overflowing with cases awaiting review. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real “forbidden fruit” is the knowledge of how to clear your browser history. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virginity voodoo” is a ritual we perform to ward off the evil spirits of desire. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: We’re all just faking it until we make it to the afterlife, and hoping the entrance exam is open-book. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “spell check” for morality is constantly underlining things we thought were fine. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virginity voyage” is a trip to nowhere on a ship of fools. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial spreadsheet” must have more errors than a tax return. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The celestial bureaucracy has a whole department for female compliance and a single, dusty inbox for male inquiries. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “pure” heart is usually just one that hasn’t been honestly examined yet. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “restore to factory settings” option for a soul is theologically controversial. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Purity is a cage that you decorate and call a virtue. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real bubble isn’t in tech stocks; it’s in the inflated social value of a biological non-event. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: There’s a special kind of irony in a purity ring sitting next to a Pandora bracelet named “Chloe’s 16th Birthday Extravaganza.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: If religious doctrines were cars, their safety ratings would be based entirely on crash-test dummies that never actually crash. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine jury” is made up of our peers, which is not a comforting thought. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The whole system relies on a collective agreement about value that is rapidly breaking down. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “binding agreement” with God is the one we’re most likely to renegotiate under duress. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “sinful symmetry” is the beautiful logic of giving in to temptation. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Urban centers are where religious rules go to retire, or at least to be seriously reinterpreted. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The great irony is that the technology used to enforce purity is the same technology used to subvert it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping score, they must be using a system so complex that not even they understand it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial compass” points in a different direction for everyone. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “chastity checkpoint” is one we all know how to bypass. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue VPN” is the disguise we use to appear better than we are. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Calling it a “precious jewel” just makes people wonder what the pawn value is. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine documentary” is a nature film about the most dangerous animal: us. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more sacred than female virginity is the collective amnesia about male virginity. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Purity culture sold teenagers on the idea that their virginity was a precious gift, then seemed shocked when some decided to regift it. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The afterlife must be one endless appeals process. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: When the “virginity bubble” pops, the social fallout will make the 2008 financial crisis look like a minor inconvenience. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial waiting room” is where we all are, hoping our number isn’t called. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Male virginity is treated less like a moral failing and more like a quirky hobby. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “celestial appeal” is a process that takes longer than a lifetime. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “divine dissonance” is the mental noise created by trying to follow impossible rules. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “commitment to chastity” is a resolution that is revised more often than a first draft. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Saint Peter’s ledger must have more asterisks and footnotes than a legal textbook. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If the angels are keeping track, they’re doing it on a celestial Excel spreadsheet that keeps crashing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The “virtue signal” is often just a distress call in disguise. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG