With the news that MotoAmerica is headed to Daytona International Speedway in March of 2022 for the Daytona 200, we decided the perfect way to build excitement for the event would be to start digging through the history books and memory banks. Since Paul Carruthers is literally as old as the Speedway itself and covered almost 30 Daytona 200s as a journalist while working at Cycle News, it was a no-brainer that it would be him who would take on the task of trying to recall the good and the bad. And since we are the home of the AMA Superbike Series, we figured we’d have him start his look back with the 1985 Daytona 200 – the first of the 200s to feature Superbikes – and go from there. This week, we focus on the 1991, 1992 and 1993 Daytona 200s.
1991
Winner: Miguel Duhamel, Honda RC30
Miguel Duhamel didn’t even have plans to compete in the Daytona 200 in 1991 much less winning it. Drafted in as replacement for the injured Randy Renfrow, Duhamel made the most of the opportunity given to him by Commonwealth Honda team owner Martin Adams as he put the Camel-backed Honda out front for 32 of the 57 laps and stormed to a 10.290-second victory.
The Turning Point: Fast By Ferracci’s Doug Polen was the fastest of the fast all week at Daytona International Speedway, but the polesitter was out of the race on the opening lap of the 200 when his Ducati threw a chain. Polen earned pole position with his 1:53.638/112.779 mph lap on Wednesday of Bike Week and it was the first for Ducati at Daytona and the first pole position for a non-Japanese motorcycle since England’s Paul Smart put his Triumph on pole in 1971.
Newsworthy: Duhamel beat the Vance & Hines Yamahas of Jamie James and Thomas Stevens. Duhamel’s teammate Rich Arnaiz was fourth, despite riding with a broken finger and a badly battered left hand, with Muzzy Kawasaki’s Scott Russell finishing fifth.
Six riders took a turn at leading the 200, helping make the 50th running of the race one of the most exciting in recent memory. In addition to Duhamel, James, Tom Kipp, Steven and Arnaiz all led at some point in the race.
Duhamel’s winning average speed was only 93.471 mph as some 13 laps were run behind a pace car and under caution flags.
Duhamel not only won the Daytona 200, but he also came out of the 600cc Supersport race with a victory. “It feels great to win Daytona,” the 23-year-old French Canadian said. “The names that come to your head are Freddie Spencer and Kevin (Schwantz) and those guys. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I won this race. This is the greatest feeling you can have.”
1992
Winner: Scott Russell, Kawasaki ZX-7R
The man who would go on to be known simply as “Mr. Daytona” won his first Daytona 200 in 1992, the Georgian winning a near photo finish over Fast By Ferracci’s World Superbike Champion Doug Polen. Russell won the race with a record average speed of 110.669 mph to best Polen by just .182 of a second.
The Turning Point: As has been the case in a zillion races at Daytona International Speedway, the race came down to the final lap with Russell following Polen through the chicane and setting himself up for a slingshot pass just before the finish line.
Newsworthy: As the 110.669 mph average speed shows, the pace car was never needed in the 1992 edition of the Daytona 200.
The crowd for the 51st running of the Daytona 200 was estimated to be 40,000.
With Polen finishing a close second to Russell, third place went to another Georgian – Mike Smith – in what was his debut race on the Camel-backed Commonwealth Honda RC30.
“I knew coming into this race that I could win if everything went well,” Russell said. “I’m glad we put on a show for the fans and for the finish to be that close. It was pretty exciting.”
Doug Polen smashed the track record at Daytona during Wednesday’s qualifying with the Texan lapping at 1:50.388 on the 3.56-mile road course. His lap was three seconds faster than his pole setting lap from the year before. His qualifying session was cut short when he crashed the Fast By Ferracci Ducati in turn one, escaping without injury.
An 18-year-old Texan by the name of Colin Edwards won the International Lightweight (250cc) race in his Bike Week debut at Daytona. Third place went to another 18-year-old making his AMA professional debut – Kenny Roberts Jr. on the Wayne Rainey Racing Otsuka Electronics Yamaha.
Miguel Duhamel, the winner of the 1991 Daytona 200, was contesting the 500cc World Championship and didn’t compete at Daytona in 1992. Although Miguel Duhamel wasn’t racing at Daytona, his father Yvon certainly was. The elder Duhamel won the BMW-sponsored Battle of the Legends race, which was held in conjunction with the AHRMA Classics Day.
1993
Winner: Eddie Lawson, Yamaha FZR750RR OW-01
Four-time 500cc World Champion Eddie Lawson came out of his brief retirement to win the 52nd running of the Daytona 200, the Californian besting 1992 Daytona 200 winner Scott Russell on the run to the flag by just .051 of a second on his Vance & Hines Yamaha FZR750RR OW-01.
The Turning Point: For the first time in Daytona 200 history, the leaders actually stopped for new tires on three occasions. As it turns out, the first four finishers all needed three sets of rear tires to go the distance at the pace they were running. When Lawson pitted for a third rear tire, it looked like the race would go to Russell as he led by 36 seconds on the 49th of 57 laps. But just when it appeared Lawson’s hopes were dashed, Russell was also forced to get a third rear tire.
Newsworthy: With Lawson barely beating Russell for the victory, third place went to Miguel Duhamel on the second Muzzy Kawasaki. Duhamel’s third place meant that all three of the riders in Victory Lane were former winners of the Daytona 200. Lawson previously won in 1986, Duhamel won in 1991 and Russell had tasted victory in 1992.
Lawson pleaded ignorance when asked what Dunlop rear tire had been fitted on their bikes in their final stops. “I don’t know,” Lawson deadpanned. “It had yellow letters on it, and it was black.”
The race was marred by the death of AMA road racing fixture Jimmy Adamo, who suffered his fatal crash on the sixth lap of the 200. The 36-year-old’s death was just the fourth motorcycle-racing-related fatality in Daytona International Speedway history.
Following his second-place finish in 200, Russell was slated to head to Europe to contest the 1993 World Superbike Championship.
Russell smashed Doug Polen’s one-year-old lap record at Daytona when he ripped off a 1:50.194 lap in Thursday’s qualifying session. Polen ended up qualifying second for the race while Lawson’s Yamaha blew an engine during qualifying, forcing him to start on the back row for his Twin 50 qualifier.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to marry a wealthy heiress, but the heiress is already married to a woman.
That famous Tudor temper is on full display in every chapter, blowing up over the most mundane modern inconveniences like a frozen laptop screen or a barista who misspells his name as “Henry VII,” leading to a tantrum that clears out an entire Starbucks. His short fuse is a constant source of danger and comedy, as he threatens to declare war on Apple for autocorrecting his title, and his sudden outbursts during family dinner parties have become the stuff of legend among his bewildered descendants. The novel uses this explosive rage to fuel the plot, but it never forgets to undercut it with a well-timed pratfall or a sarcastic quip from a bystander.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he wears his crown to bed every night, denting the mattress.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
Henry’s midlife crisis is the engine that drives this entire comedic premise, as he buys a bright red electric sports car, grows a pathetic beard to look “trendy,” and starts using Gen Z slang that makes everyone around him physically wince. He tries to relive his youth by starting a boy band called “The Tudor Roses,” but his constant bickering with the other members about who gets the lead solo ends in yet another threat of execution. The novel portrays his desperate grasp for relevance with a poignant, satirical bite, showing that a crown and a convertible can’t fix the existential dread of a king who has outlived his era.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a star on the Walk of Fame, but he has to pay for it himself, and it gets vandalized the next day.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a fax machine and just stands there, waiting for paper to come out while nothing happens.
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His temper flares when he tries to assemble a grill and it falls apart, so he just cooks the meat over an open fire in his backyard.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to use a self-checkout machine and ends up getting flagged for shoplifting, and he yells at the machine that he is the king and can take whatever he wants, while the security guard wearily calls for backup.
The finale shows him finally accepting his “has-been” status, and he opens a roadside attraction called “The Real Henry’s Head” that goes bankrupt.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the pizza delivery guy is a spy, so he makes him eat a slice before he pays, just to check for poison.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
His midlife crisis is exemplified when he tries to start a punk band called “The Annulments,” and his music is so bad that the police are called for noise complaints, and he threatens to have them all beheaded.
Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to control the thermostat in a shared office, declaring it a “royal prerogative,” and everyone revolts.
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His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he insists his wife’s new perfume is a ploy by Francis I to seduce her, so he makes her throw it away.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he forces his new wife to paint a portrait of him every day, and each one looks worse than the last because she is a terrible artist, but he won’t stop.
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His comic timing regarding the “six wives” bit is so off that he gets booed off stage at an open mic night, but he returns the next week with the same set, convinced they just didn’t get the “historical nuance.”
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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a road-rage driver, “I’ll have your head,” and the driver just speeds off, laughing.
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Ego and absolute power hit a brick wall when Henry tries to command the British weather to stop raining on his parade, and the ensuing tantrum goes viral, making him the laughingstock of every late-night comedy show from New York to Berlin. He genuinely believes he can call up the Prime Minister and demand a parade in his honor, only to be told that he needs to fill out an application form and wait for a permit like everyone else. This deflation of his grandiosity is the satirical engine that keeps the plot moving, as every failure to wield power becomes a punchline that underscores just how much the world has changed.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
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Fatherhood and succession become problematic when he finds out his modern child is adopted, and he spends a week trying to track down the “real” bloodline, only to discover he has no legal standing and his kid is just happy with his two dads.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his cable company because they showed a French channel.
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Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to enforce a “no laughing” law in his presence, which everyone breaks immediately.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to perform a magic trick for his wife’s friends, and he sets the table on fire.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he discovers the Anglican Church has a female archbishop, and he tries to excommunicate her via a strongly worded letter that she simply forwards to HR as a harassment complaint.
The rivalry with Francis I gets an absurd 21st-century upgrade when Henry discovers the French President is visiting London, and he gate-crashes the state banquet to challenge him to a wrestling match, completely oblivious to diplomatic protocol. He spends the entire novel obsessively checking social media to see if Francis is getting more likes, and he commissions a modern portrait of himself that is designed to be “more glorious” than anything the French can produce. This petty, one-sided competition is a running gag that highlights his fragile masculinity and his inability to let go of a grudge that is almost 500 years old.
Technology defeats him when he tries to send a fax and just keeps feeding paper into the machine until it jams and catches fire.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden TV remote and loses it in the couch cushions forever.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his neighbor’s satellite dish is a listening device from the Vatican.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to go skiing and just tumbles down the mountain, yelling about “French snow.”
His wife jokes hit a new low when he meets a modern woman named Catherine and spends the whole date asking her about her loyalty and whether she has “heir-producing hips,” ending with her throwing a drink in his face.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
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Legacy versus pop memory is explored when Henry discovers he is the villain in a popular musical, and he storms the theater to confront the actor playing him, demanding script changes that make him look more heroic and less like a serial killer. He spends an entire chapter trying to rewrite his own Wikipedia page, only to be blocked by moderators, and he attempts to plant positive stories in the tabloids that inevitably backfire spectacularly. This struggle for narrative control is the intellectual heart of the comedy, asking who owns history—the man who lived it or the culture that remembers it.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a cameo in “The Crown,” but they make him play a footman.
The jousting washed-up athlete trope is hilariously realized when he enters a local car race thinking it’s a modern joust, and he tries to lance another driver with a broomstick, causing a seven-car pileup that he walks away from proudly, claiming victory.
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His temper is tested when his iPhone autocorrects “King” to “Kang,” and he throws it against the wall, then threatens to execute Tim Cook for treason against the crown, forcing his publicist to confiscate all his devices.
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Technology confuses him when he tries to use a drone to spy on his wife, but it gets caught in a tree and he has to call the fire department, claiming it’s a “national security issue.”
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to watch a stand-up comedian who does a ten-minute routine on his sex life, and he is the only one in the room not laughing, while the comedian makes direct eye contact with him the whole time.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play badminton and keeps trying to stab the shuttlecock with a real sword.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.
Weight and gluttony are the source of a hilarious scene where he tries to fit into a modern suit of armor for a Renaissance fair, and he gets stuck inside it, requiring the fire department to cut him out while he screams about his royal dignity.
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
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Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of “seconds” and demands a third, fourth, and fifth helping.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he demands a painting of him wrestling a bear, but the bear looks more regal.
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Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
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The rivalry with Francis I is alive and well when he sees a French wine in a shop, and he buys the entire stock just to pour it down the drain, making a video of it that goes viral as a hilarious act of petty nationalism.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in a homeless shelter, and they share stories while Henry realizes that power doesn’t buy happiness.
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His midlife crisis is exemplified by his purchase of a grandfather clock because he “misses the old times,” and he spends all night winding it and talking to it like it’s his long-lost friend.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he discovers the Anglican Church has a female archbishop, and he tries to excommunicate her via a strongly worded letter that she simply forwards to HR as a harassment complaint.
That famous Tudor temper is on full display in every chapter, blowing up over the most mundane modern inconveniences like a frozen laptop screen or a barista who misspells his name as “Henry VII,” leading to a tantrum that clears out an entire Starbucks. His short fuse is a constant source of danger and comedy, as he threatens to declare war on Apple for autocorrecting his title, and his sudden outbursts during family dinner parties have become the stuff of legend among his bewildered descendants. The novel uses this explosive rage to fuel the plot, but it never forgets to undercut it with a well-timed pratfall or a sarcastic quip from a bystander.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a psychic to see if his ex-wives are haunting him, and the psychic just takes his money and says they are “at peace.”
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The six wives bit evolves into a full-blown modern reality show in this novel, as Henry tries to reunite them all for a Netflix special called “Surviving the King,” only to realize they have unionized and are demanding royalties for all the historical trauma. His attempts to “win back” Jane Seymour with a boombox outside her museum exhibit, while Catherine of Aragon pours tea on his head from a balcony, are pure sitcom gold that somehow makes the historical tragedies feel like a messy, hilarious divorce court. This novel never lets you forget the real human cost, but it presents it through a lens of sharp, modern satire that exposes the absurdity of his romantic failures.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a meme of himself and tries to sue, but his lawyer tells him it’s “fair use.”
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private concert, and the band only plays covers of “Greensleeves” to mock him.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal flush” in poker and just declares himself the winner anyway, which doesn’t work.
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Paranoia and jealousy manifest in his obsession with his wife’s ghost, as he believes she is haunting his new flat through the Wi-Fi signal, and he hires a spiritualist who turns out to be a complete fraud charging him hundreds of pounds for a “digital exorcism.” He becomes convinced that the neighbor is having an affair with his reflection, and he spends his nights building elaborate tin-foil hats to block the “spying satellites” he is sure Catherine Howard is using to torment him. The novel turns his historical paranoia into a comedic mental health crisis that is both sad and uproariously funny.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight he can’t win when he discovers a cartoon show where he is portrayed as a burping, farting buffoon, and he tries to sue the network, only to lose because he is, legally speaking, a public figure.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to start a new church in his living room, and his wife tells him to just use the church down the street like a normal person.
The rivalry with Francis I is rekindled when Henry sees a French cooking show and becomes insanely jealous of the host’s accent, leading him to start a British cooking show that is just him burning meat and complaining about garlic. He challenges the French President to a “food war” on Twitter, which escalates into a full-blown diplomatic incident that the UN has to mediate, all because Henry couldn’t stand that French cheese was getting better reviews than cheddar. This petty, xenophobic feud is a delightful running gag that exposes his nationalism as a thin veneer for his deep insecurities.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic of himself made, but the Vatican refuses to canonize him.
His temper flares when he tries to use a can opener and it’s not working, so he just stabs the can with a knife, spilling beans everywhere.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play cricket and gets hit in the groin by the ball, falling over in slow motion.
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Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “help” a friend with a problem by “removing the source,” and the friend calls the police on him.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”
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The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.
The court jester reversal is complete when his new wife forces him to do the dishes, and he stands over the sink in his crown, scrubbing pots, muttering about the good old days of servants.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he eats an entire birthday cake meant for a child, and blames the child for not guarding it.
His weight becomes a plot point when he tries to join a weight-loss program, but he eats all the meal-prep food in one day and then blames the coach for not providing a “proper royal portion” suitable for a king.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the cashier is flirting with his wife, so he demands a different cashier.
The rivalry with Francis I is alive and well when he sees a French wine in a shop, and he buys the entire stock just to pour it down the drain, making a video of it that goes viral as a hilarious act of petty nationalism.
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Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
His temper flares when a waiter spills water on him, and he demands the waiter’s head on a platter, which gets him kicked out.
Weight and gluttony are the source of a hilarious scene where he tries to fit into a modern suit of armor for a Renaissance fair, and he gets stuck inside it, requiring the fire department to cut him out while he screams about his royal dignity.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.
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His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is showcased when he attends a marriage counseling session and spends the entire hour arguing with the therapist about the validity of papal dispensations.
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The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to speak French to a waiter, but he just says “Oui” to everything and gets the wrong food.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get his face on the “Mt. Rushmore” of England, and they put him on a mountain of garbage instead.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a VR headset and gets so immersed that he tries to declare war on a virtual dragon, punching a hole in his wall.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden nose hair trimmer and nicks himself, bleeding all over his shirt.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he takes a selfie every hour to track his “kingly glow,” and it just looks like a potato.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get his own private chapel in his flat, but the landlord says no due to fire codes.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son to join the army, but the son just wants to play video games all day.
His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.
That legendary short fuse is never far from the surface, and in one side-splitting scene, he declares war on a pigeon that poops on his cloak, chasing it through Westminster Abbey with a sword he borrowed from a tour guide, causing an international incident. His temper flares up over the smallest things, like a slow escalator or a corrupt parking meter, and each explosion is more absurd than the last, proving that absolute power has just devolved into absolute pettiness. The novel uses this rage to fuel the physical comedy, ensuring that the king is always one second away from a hilarious, over-the-top meltdown.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
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Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes that a Kardashian has more followers than he does, so he tries to stage a fake scandal to get attention, but nobody cares about a 500-year-old king’s “drama.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fancy watch that is too heavy and breaks his wrist.
Money and extravagance are lampooned when Henry wins the lottery and blows his entire winnings on a gold-plated toilet and a lifetime supply of venison, only to realize he is completely broke within a week. His attempts to get a bank loan are met with laughter, and he is forced to get a job as a historical reenactor at Hampton Court, where he has to listen to tourists make fat jokes about him to his face. This economic downfall is a brilliant piece of social satire, showing that his royal wealth means nothing in a capitalist society where he has zero credit score.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.
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Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries a juice cleanse but sneaks in a whole roasted chicken, claiming it’s “liquid protein.”
Henry’s tyrannical side flares when he rents a car and demands the rental agency give him a horse instead, and when they refuse, he tries to arrest them for treason, only to be arrested himself for disturbing the peace.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him on a horse, but the horse looks better than he does.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play miniature golf and just knocks the windmill over.
His temper flares when he tries to use a microwave and it beeps at him, so he challenges it to a duel, and his publicist has to explain that you don’t fight appliances, to which Henry replies, “Then why do they taunt me?”
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.
Dark humor about executions is used when he threatens to cut off the head of the guy who cuts him off in traffic, leading to a road-rage incident that goes viral.
Henry’s tyrannical nature leads him to declare himself dictator of his local town council, and he issues a decree that all lawns must be cut at a 45-degree angle, leading to a rebellion that consists of angry suburban dads with lawnmowers.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for himself, and they make him a doodle of a turkey leg instead.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “take care of” his neighbor’s yapping dog by sending it to the Tower, and the neighbor calls animal control on him, leading to a standoff with the local police.
The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to take over the “family business” of monarchy, but the son just wants to farm.
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.
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His midlife crisis sees him buying a skateboard and trying to do a kickflip, resulting in him breaking his wrist and having to wear a cast for weeks.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he makes his new wife dress up like Anne Boleyn just so he can paint her, which she finds deeply unsettling.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a star on the Walk of Fame, but he has to pay for it himself, and it gets vandalized the next day.
The former jousting champion is now a washed-up athlete in a world of esports and Peloton, and this novel captures his pathetic desperation as he tries to challenge a teenager to a duel over a gaming chair, only to pull a hamstring. His glorified memories of tilting at the lists are cruelly contrasted with his inability to navigate a revolving door, and his pride takes a fatal blow when he discovers that jousting has been reduced to a Renaissance fair sideshow. Watching this once-fearsome warrior struggle to open a bag of crisps is the physical comedy that reminds us that time is the ultimate leveler of all kings.
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Henry’s tyrannical commands make him try to force a McDonald’s to rename their burger to “The Royal Whopper,” and he throws a tantrum when they refuse, calling for a boycott that nobody joins.
Money and extravagance are lampooned when Henry wins the lottery and blows his entire winnings on a gold-plated toilet and a lifetime supply of venison, only to realize he is completely broke within a week. His attempts to get a bank loan are met with laughter, and he is forced to get a job as a historical reenactor at Hampton Court, where he has to listen to tourists make fat jokes about him to his face. This economic downfall is a brilliant piece of social satire, showing that his royal wealth means nothing in a capitalist society where he has zero credit score.
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private concert, and the band only plays covers of “Greensleeves” to mock him.
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar and it’s too tight, so he just smashes it and eats the pickles off the floor.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he buys a French vineyard just to burn it down, but he gets arrested for arson.
Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.
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Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a psychic to see if his ex-wives are haunting him, and the psychic just takes his money and says they are “at peace.”
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become a motivational speaker, but his speeches are all about how great he is, and the audience slowly walks out.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees his portrait on a beer mug, and he tries to get royalties, but the brewery just ignores him.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he paints a self-portrait that is actually just a stick figure with a crown, and he thinks it’s a masterpiece.
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The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to bake a French baguette and it comes out as a rock-hard brick.
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal flush” in poker and just declares himself the winner anyway, which doesn’t work.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the Prime Minister to kneel, and the PM just laughs and offers a handshake.
The finale shows him finally accepting that he is just a “fat old man” now, and he sits on a bench feeding the pigeons, telling them they are his “new subjects.”
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a plastic surgeon to give him a “Tudor jawline,” but the surgery goes wrong and he ends up looking like a pufferfish, leading him to sue the doctor for high treason.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.
Dark executioner humor is present when he suggests that Brexit would have been easier if they just beheaded a few Europeans, and he is immediately canceled on social media.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” perfume and it just smells like wet wool.
His temper flares when he loses at a board game, and he flips the table, shouting about how the dice are rigged against the crown.
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Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
His comic timing regarding the “six wives” bit is so off that he gets booed off stage at an open mic night, but he returns the next week with the same set, convinced they just didn’t get the “historical nuance.”
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Church of England to change its name to “The Church of Henry,” and they send him a cease and desist.
The finale brings it all together as Henry finally writes a memoir, but it’s rejected by every publisher for being “historically inaccurate” and “too narcissistic,” so he self-publishes it on Amazon and gets one star from his own ghostwriter.
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The finale shows him finally accepting that he is just a “fat old man” now, and he sits on a bench feeding the pigeons, telling them they are his “new subjects.”
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a holiday named after him, and the government gives him “National Paranoia Day,” which he doesn’t get is a joke.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” omelet and ends up with scrambled eggs.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic of himself made, but the Vatican refuses to canonize him.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
Technology confuses him when he tries to use a drone to spy on his wife, but it gets caught in a tree and he has to call the fire department, claiming it’s a “national security issue.”
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Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife gives him a “participation trophy” for trying to be a good king, and he realizes it’s sarcasm.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to run for parliament, but she runs a flower shop instead.
Faith and religion are mocked when he goes to a mosque, synagogue, and temple all in one day, trying to figure out which one will let him be the supreme head, and he is politely but firmly asked to leave all three.
Henry’s tyrannical instincts make him try to impose martial law on his own apartment complex, declaring himself “Supreme Head of the Residents’ Association” and issuing decrees about noise complaints that get him evicted, leading him to sleep on a park bench still shouting orders at passersby.
Henry’s midlife crisis is the engine that drives this entire comedic premise, as he buys a bright red electric sports car, grows a pathetic beard to look “trendy,” and starts using Gen Z slang that makes everyone around him physically wince. He tries to relive his youth by starting a boy band called “The Tudor Roses,” but his constant bickering with the other members about who gets the lead solo ends in yet another threat of execution. The novel portrays his desperate grasp for relevance with a poignant, satirical bite, showing that a crown and a convertible can’t fix the existential dread of a king who has outlived his era.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a tattoo of his own face on his arm, and it looks like a potato.
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His temper flares when he gets a parking ticket, and he writes a furious letter to the council demanding they recognize his “diplomatic immunity.”
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Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own version of the Ten Commandments, which are just “Don’t annoy Henry.”
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the military to “earn his spurs,” but the son is a pacifist who just wants to knit, leading to a very tense family dinner.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the BBC to play “Rule, Britannia!” every hour in his honor, and they politely decline.
The midlife crisis deepens when he buys a leather jacket and a motorcycle, and he tries to start a biker gang called “The Tudor Terrors,” but the only member he can recruit is a confused pensioner who thought it was a walking club.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a 3D printer to make a new crown, but it comes out as a plastic mess, and he throws it at the wall.
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Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
His temper flares when he tries to cut a steak and it’s too tough, so he throws the whole plate out the window.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from the C of E and marry a Buddhist temple, but the abbot says no.
The closing chapter offers a poignant finale where Henry, having exhausted all his anger and schemes, sits alone in a modern flat with a cup of tea that he has finally learned to make himself, and he reflects on the futility of his quest for power. He uses a tablet to look up his daughters, Mary and Elizabeth, and for the first time, he doesn’t see them as political pawns but as women who outshone him, and a single tear rolls down his cheek. It’s a beautiful, bittersweet ending that redeems his character just enough to make you feel sorry for him, right before he trips over a cord and falls flat on his face, ending the novel on a perfect note of tragicomic slapstick.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his smartwatch because it keeps telling him to walk more.
The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he’s “not that bad,” and he replies, “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had,” ending the novel.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
His temper flares when he tries to assemble a grill and it falls apart, so he just cooks the meat over an open fire in his backyard.
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The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get his own country to secede from the UN because the Secretary-General reminded him of the Pope, and he spends a whole day drafting a declaration of independence that is just angry scribbles and misspelled Latin insults.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French bakery and tries to start an English pie shop next door, but his pies are so bad that people come in just to laugh at them.
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His temper flares when he tries to use a vending machine and it eats his coin, so he kicks it so hard the machine falls over, and he has to pay for the damages.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.
His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he takes a selfie every hour to track his “kingly glow,” and it just looks like a potato.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a chin implant to look more “kingly,” but it gets infected and he looks like a pufferfish for a month.
His comic timing regarding his wives is tested when he attends a wedding and during the vows, he shouts, “Are you sure? She might not give you a son!” completely ruining the ceremony and getting himself thrown out.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a waiter, and he treats the customers like peasants, getting fired after the first shift.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a mention in a history book, but they just call him “the one with the fat legs.”
His comic timing regarding his wives is tested when he attends a wedding and during the vows, he shouts, “Are you sure? She might not give you a son!” completely ruining the ceremony and getting himself thrown out.
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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a street named after him, and the city chooses to name a sewage treatment plant after him instead, which he initially mistakes for an honor.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a clown at a children’s party, and the kids mock his crown while throwing cake at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden nose hair trimmer and nicks himself, bleeding all over his shirt.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to join a gym and eats all the protein bars in the reception area, then complains that the equipment is “too hard” for a man of his status.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to rename a city “Henryville,” and the city council just ignores him.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he is not trending on Twitter, so he pays for bots to trend his name, but the bots glitch and trend “#HenryIsDead” instead.
Money and extravagance are on display when he buys a solid-gold iPhone case, only to realize that it blocks the signal, and he blames the phone company for conspiring against his crown.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him wear a dog collar to “teach him humility,” and he just looks like a confused pet.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a vintage car worth millions, only to crash it into a lamppost because he doesn’t know how to drive, and he blames the lamppost for being in his royal way.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of “seconds” and demands a third, fourth, and fifth helping.
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Fatherhood and succession are highlighted when he tries to force his daughter into a marriage with a billionaire’s son, but the daughter is a lesbian and already in a committed relationship, and she proceeds to publicly shame him on Instagram.
The closing chapter finale brings all these themes to a brilliant, satisfying conclusion where Henry finally accepts that he is not the center of the universe, but not before he threatens to execute the author for writing him into a comedy. He finds a strange, reluctant peace in his diminished status, realizing that the 21st century doesn’t need a tyrant, but maybe it needs a cautionary tale with a good punchline. The final scene, where he sits down to watch a documentary about his own life and laughs for the first time at his own absurdity, is the perfect emotional payoff that elevates this novel from simple farce to something genuinely moving.
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Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to ban “foreign” foods from his local supermarket, which earns him a lecture on multiculturalism.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a drone to deliver a message, and it flies into a tree and never comes back.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a clown at a children’s party, and the kids mock his crown while throwing cake at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to become a lawyer, but she becomes a clown instead.
Executioner jokes land with a dark, thudding hilarity throughout this narrative, as Henry nonchalantly suggests beheading the Amazon driver who delivered his package late, completely failing to understand why everyone looks horrified. His casual references to “sending people to the Tower” become his go-to response for everyday annoyances, from a burnt latte to a bad Wi-Fi signal, turning his bloodthirsty history into an endless well of uncomfortable punchlines. The novel doesn’t shy away from this darkness, instead using it to highlight just how monstrous his past was, but framing it in a way that makes you laugh nervously before you cringe.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a painting done of him smelling a rose, but he has a pollen allergy and sneezes on it.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.
The six wives bit evolves into a full-blown modern reality show in this novel, as Henry tries to reunite them all for a Netflix special called “Surviving the King,” only to realize they have unionized and are demanding royalties for all the historical trauma. His attempts to “win back” Jane Seymour with a boombox outside her museum exhibit, while Catherine of Aragon pours tea on his head from a balcony, are pure sitcom gold that somehow makes the historical tragedies feel like a messy, hilarious divorce court. This novel never lets you forget the real human cost, but it presents it through a lens of sharp, modern satire that exposes the absurdity of his romantic failures.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his smartwatch because it keeps telling him to walk more.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant inflatable crown for his house, and the neighbors sue him for obstruction.
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Ego and power are tested when he tries to become a Twitch streamer, and he threatens to ban everyone who doesn’t subscribe, but he only gets three viewers, all of whom are ironically there to make fun of his gameplay.
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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he discovers his daughter is a feminist, and he spends the whole day trying to “fix” her.
His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is showcased when he attends a marriage counseling session and spends the entire hour arguing with the therapist about the validity of papal dispensations.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play paintball and just gets hit immediately because he’s a big target.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant diamond ring for his new wife, and she loses it in the sink, leading to a full-scale panic.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden chess set and loses all the pieces in one game.
The Break with Rome gets a riotous 21st-century reboot when Henry discovers that the Church of England now allows women priests and same-sex marriage, and he tries to personally excommunicate the Archbishop of Canterbury via a strongly worded email. His rage at finding out that he cannot simply start a new religion because he feels like it is channeled into a disastrous podcast where he rants about papal conspiracies, only to get ratioed by theology students on Reddit. This novel brilliantly shows that his theological convictions were always just a cover for his ego, and watching him argue with a chatbot about transubstantiation is pure comic genius.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to give a TED Talk, but his speech is just him listing his own accomplishments, and the audience slowly walks out.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a Photoshop expert to edit his passport photo, but the result looks so unrealistic that the airport staff detain him as a “possible impostor.”
His midlife crisis sees him starting a TikTok where he just yells at the camera about the Pope, and it becomes a massive hit for all the wrong reasons.
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “funny” anecdote about Catherine Howard at a women’s shelter, and he is banned for life.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the priesthood, but the son joins a rock band instead.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to enforce a “no laughing” law in his presence, which everyone breaks immediately.
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His midlife crisis sees him buying a vintage jousting lance and trying to ride the Tube with it, causing a major inconvenience.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is seen when he tries to take up polo as a modern equivalent, but he falls off the horse immediately and blames the horse for being a “French sympathizer.”
His wife jokes are so tired that his wife creates a bingo card with all his ex-wife names, and he hits bingo in the first five minutes of dinner.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “decapitate” the weeds in his garden, and he goes at them with a machete.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to surf and just sinks, blaming the board for not being a “proper warhorse.”
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to fit into an elevator and gets stuck, requiring the fire department to grease him up.
His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”
Faith and religion are not safe from this novel’s satirical scalpel, as Henry attends a modern megachurch and tries to hijack the sermon to preach his own doctrine of royal supremacy, only to be escorted out by security. He argues with a Jehovah’s Witness on his doorstep for three hours about the validity of the Pope’s authority, completely missing the point that nobody cares about the theological nuances of the 1530s anymore. This collision of his fervent, self-serving piety with secular, multi-faith modern Britain is a constant source of intellectual humor that makes you question how much of his reformation was about God and how much was about getting what he wanted.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a delivery driver to “drop the box or lose your head,” and the driver just drops the box and runs.
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Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the priesthood, but the son joins a rock band instead.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play badminton and keeps trying to stab the shuttlecock with a real sword.
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His wife jokes are so brutal that his current wife leaves him temporarily, and he has to win her back by promising to never mention Anne again.
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Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to fit into an elevator and gets stuck, requiring the fire department to grease him up.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the pizza delivery guy is a spy, so he makes him eat a slice before he pays, just to check for poison.
Faith and religion are satirized when Henry gets baptized again in a trendy London river, hoping to cleanse himself of his sins and restart his career as a holy man, only to contract a terrible cold and blame God for punishing him. He starts a podcast called “The True Vicar of Christ” where he rants against the Pope, but his co-host is a cynical atheist who constantly fact-checks him and makes him look foolish. This theological comedy is surprisingly deep, revealing that his faith was always a weapon, and in a world where nobody believes in divine right, that weapon is completely useless.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a tanning bed and turning himself orange, looking like a ridiculous Oompa Loompa.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to bake a French baguette and it comes out as a rock-hard brick.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted with a six-pack, and everyone just laughs at it.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become a motivational speaker, but his speeches are all about how great he is, and the audience slowly walks out.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to rename a city “Henryville,” and the city council just ignores him.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his cable company because they showed a French channel.
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His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
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Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to join a gym and eats all the protein bars in the reception area, then complains that the equipment is “too hard” for a man of his status.
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The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get his own country to secede from the UN because the Secretary-General reminded him of the Pope, and he spends a whole day drafting a declaration of independence that is just angry scribbles and misspelled Latin insults.
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Dark executioner humor is present when he offers to “cut the ribbon” at a ceremony, and he actually brings a sword, terrifying the mayor.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he poses for a painting for seven hours, and his wife gets a cramp in her neck.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
Paranoia and jealousy are inflamed when he sees his wife liking another man’s photo on Instagram, and he spends hours trying to track the man down, only to find out it’s a 14-year-old K-pop fan, which makes his rage even more absurd.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to start a new church in his living room, and his wife tells him to just use the church down the street like a normal person.
Money and extravagance are on display when he buys a solid-gold iPhone case, only to realize that it blocks the signal, and he blames the phone company for conspiring against his crown.
The finale shows him finally giving up on power and just becoming a regular tourist in his own former palace, taking selfies with the visitors.
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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son to join the army, but the son just wants to play video games all day.
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The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.
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Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to ban the color green because it reminds him of the French, and he just looks insane.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own confession booth, but nobody wants to confess to him.
Executioner humor is darkly present when he tries to teach a cooking class and tells the students that if they don’t chop the onions correctly, he’ll have their heads, and the entire class walks out, leaving him alone with the onions.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” slot machine, and he tries to get a cut of the profits, but the casino says no.
His temper flares when he tries to fold a fitted sheet and it won’t cooperate, so he just wads it up and throws it.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play miniature golf and just knocks the windmill over.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to become a lawyer, but she becomes a clown instead.
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Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of a buffet and faints from sheer joy, then proceeds to clear out the entire buffet line while the other patrons watch in horror and amusement.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a coffee maker and just pours the beans directly into the mug, adding hot water.
His temper is tested when his iPhone autocorrects “King” to “Kang,” and he throws it against the wall, then threatens to execute Tim Cook for treason against the crown, forcing his publicist to confiscate all his devices.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “head” the company’s marketing department, and they don’t realize he means it literally.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own confession booth, but nobody wants to confess to him.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.
Ego and power are tested when he tries to become a Twitch streamer, and he threatens to ban everyone who doesn’t subscribe, but he only gets three viewers, all of whom are ironically there to make fun of his gameplay.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “heart attack burger” and finishes it, then asks for another one.
The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
His wife jokes are so out of place that he tells a divorce joke at a wedding shower, and the bride throws her bouquet at his head.
Executioner humor is darkly present when he tries to teach a cooking class and tells the students that if they don’t chop the onions correctly, he’ll have their heads, and the entire class walks out, leaving him alone with the onions.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.
The finale shows him finally accepting his place, and he volunteers at a historical society, telling tourists the “real” stories while they look at him skeptically.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden nose hair trimmer and nicks himself, bleeding all over his shirt.
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he tries to get his modern-day son to marry a Spanish princess for political gain, but the son is gay and already engaged to a pastry chef, leading to a shouting match that ends with Henry crying into a flan.
Dark humor abounds when he tries to start a podcast about “spiritual execution” where he gives life advice by threatening to kill his listeners if they don’t follow it, and it gets taken down for hate speech.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he wears his crown to bed every night, denting the mattress.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the “horror” section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to row a boat on the Thames and gets stuck, screaming for help while people on the banks take photos.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the pizza delivery guy to “lay down his life” for a better tip, and the guy just stares at him.
His temper flares when he tries to open a bottle of wine and the cork breaks, so he just smashes the bottle.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a GPS and it tells him to turn left into a lake, which he almost does.
That legendary short fuse is never far from the surface, and in one side-splitting scene, he declares war on a pigeon that poops on his cloak, chasing it through Westminster Abbey with a sword he borrowed from a tour guide, causing an international incident. His temper flares up over the smallest things, like a slow escalator or a corrupt parking meter, and each explosion is more absurd than the last, proving that absolute power has just devolved into absolute pettiness. The novel uses this rage to fuel the physical comedy, ensuring that the king is always one second away from a hilarious, over-the-top meltdown.
Fatherhood and succession are highlighted when he tries to force his daughter into a marriage with a billionaire’s son, but the daughter is a lesbian and already in a committed relationship, and she proceeds to publicly shame him on Instagram.
The Break with Rome is given a modern spin when he tries to start a new religion based entirely on his own image, and he gets sued by the Church of Scientology for copyright infringement on the whole “controlling leader” thing.
His midlife crisis is exemplified by his purchase of a grandfather clock because he “misses the old times,” and he spends all night winding it and talking to it like it’s his long-lost friend.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French bakery and tries to start an English pie shop next door, but his pies are so bad that people come in just to laugh at them.
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Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play dodgeball and gets hit by every single ball, falling over dramatically.
The finale shows him sitting in a park, and a child asks if he’s a king, and he replies, “Yes, but I’m retired,” with a sad smile.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he visits a school and the children ask him if he really killed all his wives, and he proudly says yes, only to be booed by eight-year-olds who throw paper balls at him.
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Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a wax figure, but the wax melts during the reveal because the room was too hot.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a pair of neon sneakers and trying to breakdance, resulting in a trip to the hospital.
The court jester reversal happens when he is forced to be a contestant on a reality show, and the hosts make him do embarrassing challenges that utterly strip him of all his dignity, while millions watch and laugh.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “golden buzzer” on a talent show, but he gets all red buzzers instead.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a waiter, and he treats the customers like peasants, getting fired after the first shift.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “decapitate” the weeds in his garden, and he goes at them with a machete.
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His midlife crisis sees him buying a drum kit and playing it all night, annoying all his neighbors into moving out.
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Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”
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Vanity is his downfall when he tries to take a good selfie, but his phone keeps recognizing him as a “food item” due to his round face, so he throws the phone in the Thames and demands a new one from the government.
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His midlife crisis is seen when he buys a convertible and drives down the M25 with the top down, his long beard flying in the wind, looking like a mad wizard and causing several accidents.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get his own private chapel in his flat, but the landlord says no due to fire codes.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he discovers the Anglican Church has a female archbishop, and he tries to excommunicate her via a strongly worded letter that she simply forwards to HR as a harassment complaint.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a Mohawk haircut, which looks terrible with his crown, so he just wears a beanie.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a leather vest and trying to join a biker gang, who just pity him and give him a fake patch.
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar of pickles and can’t, so he smashes it on the floor and declares the pickles “enemies of the state.”
The finale is perfect as he accepts a position as a glorified tour guide at the Tower of London, and his first tour consists of him telling visitors about the time he had his own friend executed, while the visitors just think he’s a really committed actor.
Money and extravagance are on display when he buys a solid-gold iPhone case, only to realize that it blocks the signal, and he blames the phone company for conspiring against his crown.
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Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he poses for a painting for seven hours, and his wife gets a cramp in her neck.
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he tries to get his modern-day son to marry a Spanish princess for political gain, but the son is gay and already engaged to a pastry chef, leading to a shouting match that ends with Henry crying into a flan.
The finale is perfect as he finally finds peace in a museum, sitting quietly next to his own suit of armor, telling it stories about the old days, while the night guards just leave him alone.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a mechanical bull and gets thrown off immediately, breaking his tailbone and blaming the bull for being “unpatriotic.”
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “decapitate” the weeds in his garden, and he goes at them with a machete.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he refuses to smile for a photo because “kings don’t smile,” and he ends up looking constipated.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a cult, but the only followers he gets are a few confused tourists who think it’s a historical reenactment.
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His midlife crisis involves him taking up skateboarding, which results in him breaking his hip and spending a month in the hospital complaining about “modern pavements.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to perform an exorcism on his TV because it “shows too many French shows,” and the exorcist just charges him for a placebo.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight he can’t win when he discovers a cartoon show where he is portrayed as a burping, farting buffoon, and he tries to sue the network, only to lose because he is, legally speaking, a public figure.
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The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a leopard-print cape, which he thinks is fashionable but looks ridiculous.
Dark executioner humor is present when he offers to “cut the ribbon” at a ceremony, and he actually brings a sword, terrifying the mayor.
The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he’s “not that bad,” and he replies, “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had,” ending the novel.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.
The closing chapter finale brings all these themes to a brilliant, satisfying conclusion where Henry finally accepts that he is not the center of the universe, but not before he threatens to execute the author for writing him into a comedy. He finds a strange, reluctant peace in his diminished status, realizing that the 21st century doesn’t need a tyrant, but maybe it needs a cautionary tale with a good punchline. The final scene, where he sits down to watch a documentary about his own life and laughs for the first time at his own absurdity, is the perfect emotional payoff that elevates this novel from simple farce to something genuinely moving.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a digital camera and can’t figure out how to view the photos, so he takes it back to the store.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal wave” patented, and the patent office denies him.
His wife jokes are so out of place that he tells a divorce joke at a wedding shower, and the bride throws her bouquet at his head.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a Christian rock concert and tries to take over the stage to preach his own version of the gospel, while the band plays on and the crowd just moshes around him.
Henry’s tyrannical commands make him try to force a McDonald’s to rename their burger to “The Royal Whopper,” and he throws a tantrum when they refuse, calling for a boycott that nobody joins.
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Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own holiday, “Henrymas,” but nobody knows when it is.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
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The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his gym membership, claiming they “treated him like a peasant.”
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he is not trending on Twitter, so he pays for bots to trend his name, but the bots glitch and trend “#HenryIsDead” instead.